it's been 5 days im here in uia..ive done my clearance yesterday..i met asma and nad...we had lunch together..we couldnt hang out much longer coz every one was having the same problem...coz suddenly after 5 years of studies our parents are so reluctant to let us do things that we used to do before..the freedom has GONE!!!my mom just called..''lepas balik redang terus balik umah k''..and i was like..''ayah asma jemput p umah dia..''-i guess that's the best excuse to extend my stay here..if i go back now..it would be another session of interrogatories by the family members...

i met sir iqbal yesterday to pass him the cds that i bought in medan..a non stop conversation on various things...apparently he is the one who's been very supportive of me with this idea of exploring new things while im still young!!yay!!!

i just miss my frens here..to many things to do..hmm..just cant wait to have a nice vacation in redang....cant wait also to have ex5/11 reunion next weekend!!!

its been two weeks at home...ive been doing nothing beside watching tv..everyone is busy with work..i got to talk to my family only at night when we watched tv or have dinner..just me adik makkakak and abah..for the past first week ive been like..''boringnya..boringnya..''..i guess mom had it enough then she told abah..''esok jom p office..blajaq computer programming ngan kak pija..''i was like..''tak mau la abah..bukan nak guna sangat''-actually its just a way of escape haha...

but thankGod everyday my phone needs to be charged..coz it keeps on ringing..thanx to my frens-and suddenly..when im so passionate about traveling the world..i got so many invitations from various groups of fren-ajakpegi situla..sinilah..basically bercuti...cant wait to go to redang--yay!!its snorkeling time..this august im planning to go to jakarta..the ticket has been booked...and my mom hasnt got to know bout this..ill tell her when its about time..like always..

this saturday ill go to uia..to settle some stuff..i can meet kakwana and my other roomies..yay!!miss u guys soosooomuch...i promise we'll spend our time together k..i cant wait to see asma and nad too..too many things to catch up!!!yay!!!..and mom starts asking, interogating i might say..''lama ka nakturun kl..nakwat ape..dah abes clearance nakpegi mane plak..lepas redang terus balik ke?thousands of qs..ehehe..i just can smile...this time it has to be a little discreet..sori mak!!!

medan trip..

How should I begin? Hmm..a week in medan obviously meant a lot to me..and also to my travel frens-TONI,ADI AND DYA…thanx to u guys for making this journey unforgetable!!!

It’s been a great experience to be able to explore new things yourselves..basically this trip was not really planned as I only took 3 minutes to say yes to toni when she sent me an sms telling me about this trip…beside toni..i barely knew the other two-adi and dya even though we were studying in the same kulliyyah..but the trip has brought us closer..more than just frens as we officially declare ourselves as siblings...

Its been a great experience as when we reached there..we were totally strangers as we had to do things on our own as we had no frens or people we know in medan…before our journey..we got so many advice telling us to be careful because the chance to be deceived was inevitable… toni insists me to write about our motto along the journey..that made us survivors till the last day..’single-mingle-humble-gamble’—I know it sounds funny but yet very inspiring…as we got this motto when we were walking from one place to another…

I have to admit that medan is not like what u can see in London…its very much different even if it is to be compared to Malaysia…I guess what we have seen there made the experience even priceless..i got to see things right under my nose..how things are very much different from what we usually see…this is what we call LIFE..the people there..they have to struggle to earn a living…to live a life..

The roads were extremely busy with vehicles…one thing that really caught my eyes was..the people REALLy like to honk….a lotttttt…all the time..its as if they really enjoyed doing that..and when other people got honked..they were just cool about it..we were so mad in the beginning as it was a real sound pollution..but then we got used to it as days passed by…

We went to almost all the places there by walking..pretty amazing coz we barely do that in our country…there was this one day we wanted to go to sun plaza by walking..when we asked for direction, the people were like..”bisa jalan..tapi jauh bangat..”..we thought that it wasn’t that far so we continued walking…when we were to cross the road..everyone of us would be running like cipan while screaming..i guess u have to be there to see how it feels to cross the road…it was like acting in mission impossible movie..ahaha…after about two hours walking finally we reached there..we got soooo exhausted but we couldn’t help ourselves but to laugh hysterically while enjoying root beer…it was like walking from uia to jusco wangsa maju..it was crazy..what an experience…

Me and adi were so into buying cds,vcds and dvds…its half of the price here...during our stay here we only ate at fast food restaurant..it was so cheap..we only paid 5 ringgit per person for pizza hut…
Before I forget.. I got to watch iwan fals live on tv..what a beautiful coincidence..perfect combination of music..and someone in birmingham got so jealous about it..ehehe…

Hmm..there was this one incident that I will never forget during our last two days in medan..apparently we were running out of cash due to extreme shopping..but toni was our savior as she brought with her a credit card..dya was so busy shopping..suddenly when she wanted to pay the machine was out of service…it was kinda humiliating coz none of us had enough cash at that moment..it just so happened that we couldn’t find the nearest money changer that day…what a memory….what makes me even happier is that I got to buy a book written by Soh Hok Gie-indeed he was a great reformist… no wonder why this book and the film are banned in our so-called democratic country…I also bought GIE-a movie about Soh Hok Gie-Nicholas Saputra won the best actor in this film…”lebih baik diasingkan daripada menyerah pada kemunafikan.’’-Gie.

To wrap everything up, I guess this trip really taught me a lesson..lesson about life…to see how things are so hard for other people around us..and how lucky we are to be able to learn this lesson…the real meaning of poverty…I could see how hard things are for the people over there…its true as in reality the riches are getting richer and the poors are getting poorer..and yet we have the guts to talk about humanity and dignity…its very frustrating to see such a big nation has to suffer in poverty as a result of corruption…it’s a fact that everyone has to admit..corruption..it happens everywhere..and how devastating its effect to humanity…and a big question to us..have we contributed even a little to remedy this devastating phenomena…or we are just too busy to think about this as we have so many things to do in our lives..enjoying our life in luxury..and we don’t even bother to look at people who are really in need….now I realize that traveling is not just about pampering ourselves with comfort and luxury,,but it is for us to start to look around us and start thinking about the reality of life…

i still cant believe that ive just finished my studies..here in uia...last nite we had law grad dinner and everyone had fun..after the dinner..every one was reluctant to go back..we were chatting and taking lotsa pics outside the ballroom...and without realzing it..it was almost one oclock in the morning..we prayed isya' and i drove all the way to uptown...with adib asma and farhana..we chatted until subuh...

this afternoon me and my roomies went to jusco to have lunch and to buy things for our bbq party...we had so much fun tonite..

i just dont know what to write..all that i have in mind is that i still cant believe the fct that four years of studies have ended..eventually..

im gonna meet mom tomorrow with all my stuff to be brought back to my hometown..im staying hereuntil monday coz im going to medan with toniand the gang...its vacation time!!!

the first week of short sem ill be here again coz ive got to go to redang with kak wana and the gang..its time for vacatION!!!AGAIN!!

i might be here during short semester..helping sir iqbal for his reseach..ill be able to join his jamming session again!!!wahla....

june..smashing world cup!!cant miss it...

when will i start my chambering then?only God knows when...just wanna live life to the max..doing things that i like...basically living my own life..not other's...

im just gonna miss all the best things that ever happened to me while i was here in uia...farewell to all..all that i can promise is to cherish all that i have..while im stll here...

when i was studying cpc this evening while listening to 'torn'- acoustic version..i got an sms..

''fadiah nadwa,abang jumpa budak ni muka dia macam fad..sejibik..terus abang teringat kat fad..ehehehe..just wanna say hi..'' i replied ''yeke?serius takut haha...abang arzlee bila nak balik?leh kita g vacation sesama'' and abang arzlee replied ''dah takdak cuti..nanti bila free kita p k..miss u sis!''

i just smiled...its been quite some time i last met abang arzlee..during mid sem break...its really funny when i come to think about abang arzlee and my sister...everyone around me keeps asking..''diorang tak rindu ke sorang dok kuching sorang dok kdah?''all that i can say is my sister is still reluctant to move to kuching...and people asked''abang arzlee tak suruh ur sis mintak transfer ke?''--my sis told me that she asked abang arzlee is it ok for her not to ask for a transfer yet..and abang arzlee replied..''kalau you tak nak mintak lagi..i takpe.. i taknak pakse...if u dah ready u mintak k..every one will be like..''baiknya abang arzlee ni..''

indeed..he is to me and i guess to every one in my family one in a million..i guess its almost impossible to find a guy like him..and i always tell my sister how lucky she is to have him...a nice, cool brother...and how lucky i am to have another brother like him..hmm..kinda miss him too..but he'll be happy because my sister will move to kuching by this may or june...i just want to see them happy...

''I watched from my window,
always felt that I was outside looking in on you
you were always the mysterious one
with dark eyes and careless hair,
you were fashionably sensitive,
but too cool to care
then you stood in my doorway,
with nothing to saybesides some comment on the weather,
well in case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heartt bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees
these foolish games are tearing me apart
your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
you're breaking my heart....''

only one word could describe my feeling right now..sad..as all the good thigs are almost over..i guess i know what makes me start to feel this way..it was last nite as i had my second jurisprudence test..at the end of the class sir iqbal gave us his words of wisdom..

among the things that he said:

"when u go out of this university..be a person who has good quality and character"
"if ure in high position, dont look down on other people"
"jaga adab"
"believe in what u believe in..dont get affected by what others say about u as long as u know that ure being honest to God"

he also told us that he really enjoyed teaching our class..he said that our class was the best class he ever taught..he thanked the class for giving him a wonderful experience in his teaching career..now i feel like crying again..normally when sir iqbal was talking..the whole class would be filled with laughter..but last nite..the class got so quiet when sir iqbal was expressing his feelings....

at the end of the class we took pictures with him..he was so happy as he kept on laughing and smiling..and every one was so happy last nite..

indeed to me..he's been a great TEACHER..its hard for me to tell people how much i look up to him...all the things that he used to say have always been in me..to guide me through this life..all the things that he said have always made me want to be a better person..all the things that he said have always been a guidance to me...i know many people dont understand this..what makes me feel this way..but i once told a close fren and my roomies that "in life, it happens only once for a person who can substantially influence ur life"...i thank God for this blessing...all the things that he said were not only related to our subject in class.. its about life..and this means the world to me...its always been my hope that i can hold on to these precious things till my last breath..and i hope that thre's always someone who can remind me if ive ever changed....

too many things happened in the past few days..i know its not right for me to say that the world really frustrates me...but i admit that im just plain human..but still God knows everything as he has planned all these things in his own way...

last friday when i just woke up from bed, kak wana came to my room and told me that ellia's motorbike was stolen when she parked the bike at kulliyah..i was so shocked to death...and after some time ellia and zai came back to our room and the security guard was waiting for us to have a tour around the male mahallah to search for the bike...when we were in the patrol car..everything was revealed...basically uia holds the highest rate of theft cases involving motor vehicle and recently 5 criminals cum student have been convicted of theft involving motor vehicles and to my surprise they had been detaching the parts of the bike right under our nose!!!kat mahallah uthman..and no one knows or maybe no one cares about this i guess...

but still it doesnt end there..the day before ellia's bike got stolen thre was already a similar case at econs parking lot..what a world..these heinous criminals are theft instead of being students in this university and in fact police from bukit aman comes to uia everyday to investigate...and to my disappointment..nobody imparts this info to the residents of this university..maybe people are too busy doing things that are in their interest..humanity and justice dont matter anymore, i guess this is the reality in today's world..

ellia zai and me went to make a police report at balai polis gombak escorted by the security guard...then we have to go to ibu pejabat polis selayang to refer the matter to investigation unit..it sounded serious this time..the place was quite far..when we got there the security guard left...now i know what a real police station is like...we were waiting outside the investigating officer's office..suddenly thre were two chinese guys, handcuffed sat next to us..a bit scary..zai was holding my hands...then all the high rank officers came to us and asked a few questions..they wre nice to us...despite the first impression i got on them..one of the officers aked me"bila dah grad nak keja kat mane?' i replied"ag kot".."hmm nanti jumpa kitoranglah ek..bila dah jadi dpp ke magistrate ke, belajar elok2'...after 3 hours everything was settled...we waited for the security guard to pick us up...

every one was disappointed with what had happened..the room which usually filled with laughter has turned into a dull mode...all that we can do is pray to God...things always happen for a reason..and we have to strongly believe in that..

but yesterday spoke for itself..ellia got a phone call from the security..they got the culprit's pic riding the bike..as if its his..caught on cctv..at 5 ellia zai nadia and me walked all the way to see the pic...alhamdulillah the matter has been referred to the police and all that we can do is wait..its right when we say that God knows everything..He Knows the truth..and He is always there to protect us...

and i personally believe that truth will reveal itself no matter how hard things can be...some people they just cannot see u have what they dont have..some people they just like to talk about other people without knowing the truth..some people they just like to gossip around or i think the word fitnah is more apprropriate..and thre's nothing mush i would say about this kind of people...the Day of Judgment will tell us the truth....^peace out^^

this morning my entire batch who'll be graduating this sem had to wake up early for photography session at the majestic big stairs in the heart of uia...everyone was so excited..its not that we were happpy of leaving this place, but it was the feeling of being surrounded by good frens who have been with u throughout the years...

we waited for quite some time to get every one ready..we finished at 830 and i had to rush back to kulliyyah coz i got building contract test...while waiting there we took lotsa pics-hugging each other...laughing..what a memory...this same feeling always haunts me when i got back to my room..and as usual ill make my usual remark to adik2 bilik and kak wana.."sedihla korang..kite dah nak berpisah'..every one will keep quiet and start to hug one and another..hmm..i have to admit that its really hard for me to imagine the day we have to say good bye..and now i feel like crying...

and i have to admit that once i used to have the feeling of running away from this place..but i guess i was wrong..too many good things God has given to me while im here..up until now...and sometimes i almost forget the things that used to make me cry...its true when people say..when u feel so sad about sometihng..thre'll be a day that ull realize that ure always blessed with love..to much love around you that it makes it hard for u to let it go...i met many people i know today..i stopped and talked to them...we laughed and smiled...and its kinda strange as people can notice you being in such a lovely and happy mood...i met pang and he said something to me'fadiah, u look different lately' i asked him back..'hmm...what do u mean.. i look different?..'he said 'u look happier..ur smile makes people who see u smile too"..hmm.. radzlan told me the same thing yesterday..quite funny though..haha..but i have to admit that its good to make people around u happy...coz they make me happy too...

actually i was about to write about a few things sir iqbal and me had dicussed about..but i guess ill write about those thigs next time coz i need more revelation to pour them into words...^peace out^^

ive watched iwan fals collaborating with kantata takwa- live concert..indeed it is a deviation from the mainstream...and indeed our people have not yet witnessed this kind of sentiment,to be appreciated..and indeed im grateful to be able to be expossed in this norm, not familiar to our typical mainstream...the song 'kesaksian' really captivates me..and 'marsinah' is just plain awesome...i took quite some time to digest what this song is all about..sir iqbal told me that this is his favorite song and asked me to ponder what it is all about and tell him what i understand about the song...i guess ive got the answer...

like what iwan fals said'perjuanga adalah pelaksanaan kata-kata'-and to achieve this..the first thing that we have to do is open our heart..to accept and to give the truth a thought..even for a single second...