Thursday, December 30, 2010

Happy New Year Life!

It has been a hectic year for me. A year that’s worth living for despite all the things that can rip you of your sanity at one point of another.

In life, not everything that happens around you will affect you in a good way. The common thing, I mean. It’s more of a compulsion. You have no choice but to conform, no matter how hard you try to dodge its reality.

But that’s okay, as long as you know that someday, it will stop haunting you. As long as you hold, tightly on to your belief, then you will find freedom.

New Year is coming in a few days away. People celebrate New Year. Counting down the last bit of the year, 3,2,1 and…… that’s it!. I don’t see the significance of celebrating it. Life passes by in its orderly fashion every year without fail. Nothing new.

In the same breath, year end is marching on to close its chapter. Year end has never failed to give me this distinct feeling. A feeling that I can hardly describe.

That distinct feeling gets stronger and stronger as it gets closer to the end of the chapter. A moment of reflection. Life and common thing. Common thing and life. Change. Some things change and some things remain indifferent. People. They come and they go. Decision and indecision. Confusion and clarity.

If we decided to live a life that defies gravity, for every single day that passes by, without us realizing, we will reflect on life to reaffirm our belief. The belief that says it's the only way a life should be lived and nothing else matters.

We cry along the way, we break down, we get crushed, but we still believe that it's the only way to go. No matter how hard things get we know it has always been right. I guess the feeling of knowing that it's the right thing to do is all that really matters.

Dear Life, happy new year to you.

Mentari JUST Kids Camp

It has been so long since I last dropped by Mentari Centre. It felt so bad that it got so hard to juggle too many things on weekends.

When Cikgu Mawarni, the backbone of the Mentari Project called up for dinner early this month to discuss where we should go from where we are, I told myself that I just needed to make time for Mentari no matter what.

Many asked what is Mentari Project?

Mentari JUST Kids Project is a voluntary tuition program for less fortunate primary students living in low cost flats in Desa Mentari. Seeding program starts at Desa Mentari Flats but it is hoped that the project can be expanded in the future. For that we need as many volunteers who are willing to spend 2-3 hours a week for the children.Further information can be found here and here.

Before 2010 closes its chapter, we planned to organize our first Mentari Camp for the kids. On 25 and 26 December 2010, we managed to organize our first successful Mentari Camp at Lembah Azwen, Hulu Langat. Those two days that I spent with the volunteers and the kids gave me that serene feeling which I never fail to feel every time I get surrounded by the kids for the past three years.

Throughout the Camp, the kids were exposed to the following programs:-

1)They were tasked to discover their abilities to affect change through "Know Yourself" and "Chasing Dreams" Assignments.

2)The kids were taught on sexual harassment on children through "OK Tak OK" program.

3)We screened the provocative and enlightening film "GADOH" in order to get the kids to grasp the concept of humanity, racial relation and racism.

4)The kids really enjoyed The Amazing Race and all outdoor activities.

I was assigned to conduct GADOH film screening session and I was pleasantly surprised that the kids actually paid full attention to the film, bearing in mind that it has always been challenging to get their attention on almost anything when it comes to learning.

They really loved it. After the film screening, I asked what did they learn from the film and their answers were brilliantly spot on. And right after we concluded the session, they kept coming to me, reminding me of my promise to get them a copy of the dvd each.

All in all, the camp was a huge success. As I was talking to Cikgu Mawarni, reminiscing what it was like three years back, when we only had 8 students who signed up, we noticed that things have tremendously changed for the better.

There’s hope. There’s hope that these kids will live a purposeful life despite the fact that they have been victims of the system and lives have not been easy for them.

Three years back, we could hardly have a student who would want to raise his hand to answer a question. Three years back, we could hardly have a student who would voluntarily step forward and share his ideas with every one.

And now, we have to actually tell them that we are running out of time, hence not every one would have the opportunity to speak.

At the end of the camp, we gave them a small yellow paper for them to write what they feel about the camp and stick the paper on the notice board. One note reads:

“Saya gembira dapat datang ke kem Mentari, saya juga sangat gembira dapat tidur dalam bilik yang berhawa dingin” (I’m so happy to participate in Mentari camp, I’m also happy that I get to sleep in a room with air conditioner).

That note.

There’s something about that note that words can never explain.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Catch Me If You Can!

Things that can make you laugh and laugh, when your words don't coincide with what you think or what the real facts are, which would result in you, getting trapped in your own confusion.

Conversation 1-In the car with ex schoolmates in Melaka:-

A : (telling a story) - There's this funny story abut my housemates, we were talking about movies and I asked, what's the title of the movie, with Leonardo in it, catch me if I...? And my friend replied confidently, "Catch The Thief If You Can". Every one laughed their heads off!

Me : (I laughed and laughed). Your friend is so funny, there's no such thing as "Catch The Thief If You Can"!

We continued laughing.

Me: It's the one with Leonardo right? It's "Catch Me If I Fall" right?(confidently)

Every one in the car laughed like crazy and I was like "what?"

I : Fad, it's "Catch Me If You Can"!

Conversation 2-At home after coming back from my office.

Me : We have to watch "Let's Meet the Mohan!!".

F : What? "Let's Meet the Mohan"? What movie is that? You don't watch Hindustan do you?.

Me : Not Hindustan lah, Adam Sandler acted in it!It must be funny!

F : Mohan and Adam Sandler, what movie is that?? Ohhhh...It's "Don't Mess With the Zohan" lah!!

There you go, these conversations took place 2 years ago, but my friends still crack the same jokes until today, just to annoy me :P

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Brick Game, Flip Flops and Kain Batik

The "You know what" conversation over dinner, while getting so hooked on brick game which was so popular 15 years back, which every kid would have in their possession and all you could hear was them bragging on and on about who's got the highest score:-

Me : Oh my God, this brick game can really make us happy!It was so popular back then when we were 15 years younger. As popular as PSP and the likes, which I can never get.
Nas : I know!We are simple people!
Me : You know what, one of the things that I always wanted to do in life is wear flip flops to work.
Nas : You know what, all I wanted to do is wear kain batik to work. It's so comfy!I did it once.
Me : No, you didn't! I don't have "kek batik" at home for me to wear to work.
Nas : What "kek batik?".

We went on and on and on, as if somebody just drugged us.

By the way, the brick game in the above photo was the exact brick game that I had 15 years back, which I shared with my granny. I could still remember teaching her how to play. She got so hooked on it that I had to wait for so long before it was my turn to play. I think Mom bought a new one for me so that both, granny and I could have our own brick games.

Those were the days, days without PSP and the likes.

Friday, December 17, 2010


I Phone.
Freedom.I'm breathing it. Yes, it's real.
It's Freedom.

Monday, December 06, 2010

Shoot me with your dying conscience
Rip my soul to pieces with your blunt speech
Punish me for my faith
Execute me for my belief
For you can never comprehend
What it is to be human
Even in the certainty of my death
You can never win this war
The war you wage against yourself.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Maths and Home Minister

In response to the Lawyers for Liberty's press statement on fatal police shooting up to 17 fold, Hishamuddin, who is extremely good in making routinely stupid statements in public on security issues went on to say that there is no rise!

Police shooting 2001:5 deaths,2008:82 deaths,2009:88 deaths and yet you can irresponsibly say there is no rise!

Oi Hishamussin, did you fail your standard one maths? I bet he would say that there are only 100 people living in both Wales and England as the statistics show there are only 3 deaths in 2008 and 2 deaths in 2009, or he would say that police in Wales and England use feather dusters to apprehend suspects!

Hisham, Hisham...are you for real? Malaysian Home Minister?

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

BieberiSwiftly suffocating!

When “baby, baby baby uuuhhhh…” won the best male album in the American Music Awards last night, all Far and I did was look at one another and we were like what? “Which part of Bieber was male?” she asked.

Yes, I’ve committed a sin watching that stupid Award show last night. Not that I intended to, blame it on this habit of turning myself into a fixture in front of the idiot box whenever I get home late, too tired to even go to bed and save my sanity from being exposed to this kind of thing.

This is the reason. The reason I stopped listening to the radio. Sometimes your brain just couldn’t take it no more. It’s getting too much to swallow that you sometimes find yourself screaming in the car in so much anger, while the radio keeps on playing and the next thing you know is someone next to your car is looking at you, questioning your mental health.

This explains the constant visit to that particular music shop. A sign of protest against the annoying buzzing sound of the radio. Radio that plays horrid songs that would eventually suffocate, and bring death.

She woke up in the morning, grabbed a pen and a paper and started writing art she said “you wear sneakers, I wear flip flops, you’re my boy friend, I’m your girlfriend”…and she went on and on. Far said, “I have nothing against her”. Likewise, I have nothing against her either.

It’s just that the world is misleading her and the likes into believing “we go out on a date, watch movie, I feel sad but I love you” that is later turned into a song that sells like hot cakes, which profit is enough to finance a revolution is art.

Art has soul.

Pop culture will never get that.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What they see

Most of the time, you just have to let it be
That you just have to stop justifying the resonance within you
Ignoring the piercing stares
Pleasantly surprised that it does not bother
Even when the world stands together
In condemnation
In retaliation of your solitary resistance
Standing still, content
Clinging onto the irony
Of uncertain victorious destiny and definite despair
Can you still win?
Breathing upon your own death
Letting the world through their science
Dissect your sanity
It doesn’t matter does it?
What they see.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Bukit Gasing

Photo from here.

After completing our weekend ritual of climbing Bukit Gasing last Saturday, we decided to walk on the reflexology stones to see whether we could endure the pain while contemplating where to hang out since Raju's was close due to Deepavali long break.

Kak Lat was busy catching up with this one guy, reminiscing their meeting during Bersih Rally. I was busy looking at the tree that has always been there, amazed by its existence, its height and its beautiful leaves. Eric was busy looking at this plant near the tree, asking whether it was tumeric plant. Murnie and her sister were busy enjoying their cold plain water.

Me : Look at the tree, I never noticed how beautiful the leaves were.
Suren : You know what, I planted this tree, its name is Bogambo. It can get higher than this.
Me : oh....
Eric : Hey, is that pokok kunyit?
Murnie : It looks like it.
Eric plucked the leaf and smelled it: No, it's not kunyit.
Me: It's not kunyit, it's Bogambi.
Suren : Your Swahili is good.

Murnie just laughed. Kak Lat was still talking to that guy.

Eric : Hey, there's this one place for rent, it's really cheap, it's 1k per month.
Us : really? that's great.
Eric : You know why it's so cheap? It's above this one psychiatric clinic.It's cheap because people think it's jinxed.
Me: Ha? There's nothing wrong with it lah.We can visit the clinic if we need to!hahaha.

There was this sudden silence. I wonder why.

Suren : Hey, why is every one looking at Fad?

They all laughed.

Me : Hey! What's that supposed to mean????

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Selvach's case and 1984

Following the police report lodged by Selvach's wife, Saraswathy, her statement was taken by the Police yesterday afternoon. Saraswathy's neighbour who was also there on the night Selvach was cursed at while he was opening the front door, beaten up while his two hands were handcuffed, dragged down the lift in front of his wife and his neighbours, kicked into the van, in front of his two children was with us for the statement taking.

The cursing and the anger seemed unearthly. "I can see one of the police officer was shivering in anger, cursing at Saraswathy and Selvach, while he was trying to open the front door to let them in", the neighbour recounted to me what happened that night after the statement taking was done. I was listening to him while my mind kept thinking about 1984. A sudden numbing fear crawled all over my skin.It is 1984.

The ideal state of police coming to someone's house, knocking the door, informing the person that he is arrested on this and that ground, keeping the person in the lock up, bringing the person to court court is nothing but a devious imagination.

After I was done taking down a few details for the habeas corpus application, Saraswathy asked me whether I can provide her the reported stories about the Saturday protest at Bukit Aman.

The neighbour said "I'm so happy that we protested on Saturday, that was my first time that I got to witness something like that, I see hope". "I never knew any lawyers before, but after the Saturday protest, I'm so happy that I know a few lawyers who stand up for her, thank you".

I can see Saraswathy's smile, she shook my hand and she said "thank you so much" and then she hugged me before we said good bye.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

The Buzzing Sound

As I was listening to him this morning, I believe that he does not want it to be over analyzed nor over interpreted according to what he meant by it.It's crime against art they said. So this whole search on what he meant should just be abandoned and replaced by how do we relate to it,to make sense to what we feel and what we see. Trust me, it will make sense, if you have faith in it.

Odd he said, the buzzing of a detuned radio and a fridge in a hotel room. It then becomes funny and he just has laugh about it.

Yes, the oddness that is bordering funny ha ha, ended by the feeling of letting it go, not so much out of frustration, rather to leave it be as it's not worth grieving over.

They buzz and buzz and buzz and buzz.As if the longer the buzzing continues, the stronger their faith and conviction get. Amusing isn't it?. Life will be much simpler buzzing than trying get rid of the buzzing sound and get down to what life without it would be like. That's the difficult part of this whole endeavour. No wonder people will always choose to buzz, it's convenient.

So, I decided to ignore the annoying buzzing sound and try to look out my window to find out whether faith is still there. Oh, there you are. Standing proudly with people who never second guess you, people who never buzz.

While human rights activists in Malaysia protested the beating of Selvachandran & his arrest under the ISA, which it seems to be, fellow Malaysian held a similar powerful protest against the draconian law in front of Malaysia Tourism Promotion Board at Trafalgar Square London, last Saturday, Oct 30.-photo and caption by Ginie Lim

And now you, the buzzing sound, you can just go away, evaporate, just like you always do.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Police Brutality : Nothing Unusual

After some time, I just have to tell myself that I have to learn to get used to hearing cases on police brutality, no matter how repugnant and how unbelievable they can be.

The recent case of the beating and abduction by Police of K.Selvachandran, a key witness who testified against the police in the recently concluded R.Gunasegaran death in custody inquest bears testimony to the state of fascism and lawlessness of the highest degree.

I guess it's pretty normal for me to be confronted with the never ending accounts of police brutality, given the nature of activism I'm currently involved in. After all, according to the then Commissioner of SUHAKAM, Dato' Siva, 70% of cases referred to and dealt with by SUHAKAM involved police brutality.

So, it's nothing unusual isn't it?

People get beaten up in lock ups, people died in custody, people get shot at without justification. Police are getting away with all these things, no oversight mechanism set up despite repeated demands by the civil society. And we got and IGP and a Home Minister who would always side with the police over the victims which can be clearly seen in their response to public uproar on the lawlessness of their agents and the police institution. To expect them to announce that the matter will be investigated is nothing but an erroneous wishful thinking which will never match the current reality.

No accountability whatsoever. Like it or not, we are living in a complete state of lawlessness, surrounded by material development where one can brag on and on in the hope of becoming world's most developed country.

How strange that things that happen almost like a routine still affect one's mind as if they never happen before. The frustration, the anger, the disbelief, the feeling of hopelessness would always be there,hanging at the back of one's head, in utter disregard of the frequency of such happenings that would normally attract the 'normal' reaction which gradually turns into silent approval.

One gets upset. One starts to question the feeling. One even goes further to question is this wrong a right thing? Battling with a distant perspective drawn from of a foreign land where the grass is definitely much greener than the grass in the land of ours.

A quick observation on the statistic below:-
Death by police shooting in England and Wales in 2009 = 2 deaths (investigated)
Death by police shooting in Malaysia in 2009 = 39 ( no investigation)

This kind of observation would always make me wonder, why can't we be like them?

Is it right for a suspect, a criminal, an innocent man, a man, a woman, a teenager, a human being to be assaulted, murdered, humiliated while being in police custody? If it is, I am such a total failure in search of its permissibility.

Then why are there so many people conspiring to insult justice? One question after another.Is it me or everything around me is falling apart?

Then why do I still hear people, 'educated' people, with CGPA of 3.95, graduated from an institution that taught rule of law think that this is okay? Does reading KOSMO with the headline "Pelakon filem susuk bercerai" have something to do with this?

Is it too wishful of me to ever think, for one second, that we can have the same green grass we are talking about in the foreign land, here in our country?

Or we should just leave it well alone? Can we?

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Me, me, me syndrome

As we were having dinner last night, talking about getting older-immaturity-a lorry driver who just disappeared after banging PUSPAKOM's wall-you can never win an argument with conservative parents, and somewhere in between this conversation, a usual high pitched voice of Far suddenly hit my ears! "why did you stop writing your blog?".

And I replied "I'm scared that I would become self absorbed/obsessed (the me, me, me syndrome as KL put it), that it will annoy me and others to death, just the way I get easily annoyed when YBs tweeted about "I just crossed the road-I visited surau A and then surau B-I missed my lunch and my stomach is killing me".

The reply : "Hell no! you write something on how you feel about things, not what you just do!".

Point noted. Hence this entry.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010


Gambar oleh Zunar

Fakta Merdeka :

1)Perjuangan merdeka diasaskan lebih lama oleh Parti Kebangsaan Melayu Malaya, Kesatuan Malaya Merdeka dan Parti Komunis Malaya.

2)Merdeka dengan darah rakyat, bukan janji manis UMNO dgn British.

3)Selepas merdeka, UMNO masih menggadai kemerdekaan dengan menggadai 60% hasil kekayaan negara kepada British hingga tahun 1970an dan askar British masih menceroboh hingga tahun 1971.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


It was as if the world stopped spinning for a while. The quietness left nothing but a distinct feeling, peculiar. The busy worldly routine nobody seems to escape all this while did not seem to take its ordinary course.

Quiet. That you can hear the clock was ticking, and the ticking sound was getting closer and closer, closer than you to your own self. Peculiar. Yes, it's here, as it has always been.

Here not to be remembered. Here not to be paraded. It's here to remind. The things that we, forget easily, most of the time, forgetting that it has never been gone.

Friday, August 06, 2010


I just couldn't contain myself from laughing my head off reading the Catcher in the Rye which Eric gave me as a birthday present.This particular part is extremely hilarious that I personally think it shouldn't let pass unquoted:-

"That's just the trouble with all you morons. You never want to discuss anything. That's the way you can always tell a moron. They never want to discuss anything intellig___"-Holden Caulfield.

Monday, August 02, 2010

Anti-ISA Candlelight Vigil-01.08.2010

Photo by Aina Sayuty

Despite the brutal and violent crackdown by the fascist police personnel on the peaceful anti-ISA protesters last night, the conscientious people stood still in opposition to the draconian act that has been in existence for 50 years, the lawyers stood still at the police station for 8 hours until 5am in the morning in defence of the people's constitutional rights to peacefully assemble and to be given a fair trial in court.

To know that there are still people who would give their hearts and souls to fight for what is right is extremely inspiring.I couldn't be more honoured to be standing next to these freedom fighters and to be associated with their undying struggle for justice and humanity.


Tuesday, July 27, 2010


photo from here

I think the award for the most funniest and/or stupidest comment ever made in response to the plight of the Istana project migrant workers goes to this man/woman named Anon who stated something to this effect :-

"this Nadia chick is one example of an ungrateful Malay... she forgot that NEP brought her where she is now, she is anti-Malay and anti-Monarchy!".

I just couldn't help myself but to burst into hysterical laugh at his/her comment on Malaysiakini news.

The plight of the Istana project migrant workers : non payment of salaries, extortion by police personnel, deplorable working conditions, lawyers were barred entry in order to have access to the clients, SUHAKAM was barred access to investigate human rights abuses, Government refused to give written undertaking to ensure the safety of the workers pending investigation, MACC pushing for names of the workers despite issues of safety and vulnerability of these migrant workers. And I'm anti Malay?

Well, just to satisfy his/her curiosity, this kinda accusation is the least of my concern. Go ahead, the world is not gonna stop spinning just because we have people like you and Ezam. Go ahead making fun of yourselves as your actions show nothing but anti-human and anti-justice.

Oh by the way, what I am today has nothing to do with the racist party's propaganda(or you may call it project) as I owe them nothing (well, it is them who owe me and my fellow countrymen every cent that they touch with their corrupt hands). Having always been standing in opposition to the racist propaganda propagated by the racist party, I don't remember being taught by my Maker to be anti-human and anti-justice in the name of race.

Thank God I never bought the racist party's pathetic propaganda just like Anon, Ezam and the like. What a blessing!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Kari Ayam

Maka pada suatu petang Ahad yang diiringi rintik hujan renyai-renyai, di sebuah keraian sempena menyambut kelahiran bakal anak sahabatku Afzan, maka satu kejadiaan yang dipenuhi reaksi terkesima telah berlaku.

Ketika kami semua sibuk menjamah makanan yang lazat dan bersembang diikuti ketawa girang, Munah, sambil memanggil anaknya, Zahra yang berumur hampir setahun untuk pulang memandang ke arah kami dan berkata "Dah lewat petang ni, aku nak kena balik dah ni, nak mandikan Zahra lepas tu nak kena masak kari ayam untuk makan malam".

Terkesima tanpa kata-kata. Aku memandang Atie dan Atie berbalas pandangan denganku. Kami memandang Munah. Maka, terkeluarlah kenyataan seperti berikut:-

"Masak kari ayammmmm? Kena masak ke? Hari Ahad malam kena masak? Dah lewat ni?Tapi esok kerja? Kari ayam? Lepas mandikan anak?".

Munah sambil mencekak pinggangnya berkata "korang ni nampak sangat lah hai... tidak bersedia!".

"Yelah, kari ayam, resepi mak mertua aku tau. Pehtu kena iron baju, tengah malam anak terjaga banyak kali, pagi kena siapkan dia, lepas tu pergi kerja, balik kena masak..."

Atie dengan tidak semena-mena pantas datang duduk di sebelah aku..."Fadiah...tidakkkk!!".

Munah hanya menggelengkan kepalanya dan kami hanya mampu tersengih seakan-akan kerang busuk di Pasar Selayang.

Memandangkan hari semakin lewat, kami pun berangkat pulang, selepas memeluk Afzan dan mengucapkan terima kasih kepada tuan rumah. Ketika aku berhenti di lampu isyarat, aku dapati kereta Munah betul-betul berada di belakang kereta ku. 3 minit kemudian akau mendapat satu sms.

"Fad, hubby aku bagi pelepasan tak payah masak kari ayam...yay!!makan luaqq!!".

dan aku membalas:-

"Hahahahahhaha, yahoo!!!tak payah masak kari ayam!"

Friday, July 16, 2010

Will we change?

I just read this piece on Hisham's blog. I somehow find it heart wrenching...I remember listening to Suren's story about the fight for human rights 13 years tremendously inspiring it was...and how heart breaking it could be...and somewhere along those lines, the fighters chose to change their ways...

Will we change?

Hisham's letter describes it best.




setiap kali aku melihat gambar ini
setiap kali aku bertanya
dimana kau semua sekarang?

gambar pagi 3 disember 74 ini
adalah rakaman sejarah
setiakawan anak muda dengan kamu tani
setiakawan anak muda dengan penoreh getah
setiakawan anak muda dengan kaum buruh

dimana kau semua sekarang ?

setelah kau berijazah dan berdiploma
adakah kau masih bersetia dengan janji
janji yang kita lakar di sudut pidato
janji untuk menegak keadilan

pasti kau telah bernikah beranak dan bercucu
tidak seperti gambar ini
apakah kau telah berperut gendut
menjadi pegawai mengutip laba
memasang lukah mengumpul harta
memungut upti kiri dan kanan
berbaju batik dan bederajat tinggi
kau menjadi susuk yang soleh
yang setia kepada janji
yang telah kita lafazkan di sudut pidato

dimana kau semua sekarang?

aku menuliskan surat ini dengan kenangan dan air mata
teringat pada janji janji setia
ketika bergerak di jalan raya
ketika berkumpul dan bersetia
ketika di tembak dan di belantan
ketika rebah dan bangun semula

dimana kau semua sekarang ?

tidak kah kau lihat betapa pertiwi sakit sengsara
tidak kah kau lihat pedih dan perit negara bangsa
tidak kah kau lihat terseksanya anak semua bangsa

jika kau membaca surat aku ini
jangan kau salah prasangka
aku bukan meminta dana
aku bukan meminta derajat
aku bukan meminta simpati

aku hanya ingin bertanya apakah kau masih setia
pada janji janji yang dilakar pada pagi itu
aku hanya ingin bertanya apakah kau masih setia
pada ilmu yang kita pelajari di gedung itu

dimana kau semua sekarang?

jika pagi ini kau di veranda banglo rumah mu
mengira kereta dan speda cucu mu
menghitung saham dan luas tanah mu
merancang percutian di kota eropah
aku meminta kau luang kan sedikit masa
lihat kembali gambar ini
ingatkan kembali pada janji dan cita cita
untuk mendirikan negara bangsa
yang adil dan berbudaya

dimana kau semua sekarang?

jika pagi ini kau bercanda canda dengan kekasih muda
mengira-gira saham emas dan bhara
mengumpul harta tidak terkata
aku meminta kau luangkan sedikit masa
lihat kembali gambar ini
gambar kita di pagi itu di masjid negara
berjanji dan bersetia
menentang kezaliman
menumpas kebatilan

jika surat ini tidak sampai
jika surat aku ini tidak dibaca
jika surat aku ini tidak dibuka
akulah sebenarnya bersalah
menulis surat ke alamat berubah

wahai agin yang lalu
tolonglah sampaikan surat aku
wahai angin lalu
lakarlah gambar ini dilangit biru
agar dapat dilihat oleh kawan kawan aku
diseluruh pelusuk seluruh penjuru
detik kami melakar janji
bersetiakawan untuk duji

Small Things

Sometimes, when I get to be all alone by myself, trying to figure out what life is all about, I would always come to a conclusion that small things that happen around me never fail to make me feel content about life.

Small things that matter. Small things that mean the world. Small things that transcend "I want to be a millionaire-I want to drive the most expensive car in the world-I want to buy the most fanciest mansion on earth" dreams.

Supportive family, great friends I can count my life on. I'm content.

Small things...

While sitting in the Court this morning, I found myself smiling while my mind was thinking about my one year old niece, Adeena.She loves to eat raisins (kismis) and fishball.She loves skin lotion a lot.

My attempt to get her to pronounce these words.

Me: Adeena, FISH-BALL
Me: Adeena, KISMIS
Me: Adeena, LO-TION
Me: Adeena, CHICKEN

And the best part is, she seriously feels that her pronounciation is perfect as she would confidently flash a huge smile after pronouncing those words real loud!

Today is my brother's birthday and early in the morning I texted him:

"Hey, selamat pengharian jadiaan mu lah!"

and he replied:

"haha, peringatanmu memang ku menghargakanlah!Penterimaan kasih mu hey!

We always have this habit of "saying it wrong--the broken Malay languange style". we can go for hours and laugh our heads off doing this!


A bunch of crazy-passionate-committed people I'm so blessed to meet. We can be serious together, we can be crazy together, we can climb Bukit Gasing together, we can stand in the sun for hours to get out voices heard together, we can suddenly sing in a middle of an important, serious discussion together.And we can also pass a resolution that there must be a movie screening before or after we start our meeting is a must, no food no meeting---together.

How wonderful life can be...With all these small things that really matter.

Monday, June 21, 2010

20 June 2010-World Refugee Day

20 June 2010 marked the World Refugee Day hence the FB status written on the day:-

"is commemorating World Refugee Day and pondering upon how the principle of refugee law was beautifully established during the Prophet's time when the Medinans gave due protection to the Prophet against persecution by the Quraisy of Mecca"

I believe that it corresponds well with my never ending thoughts on why we always pick and choose issues we want to fight for, more often than not we forget that the issue of refugees is never alien to us.

Eric's article couldn't be more accurate in explaining the problem refugees face, right here in our own country.


When can Malaysia commemorate World Refugee Day?

It was indeed heartening to see the whole world including the Malaysian government and the unanimous Parliament condemning (the US government of course supported Israel) the Israeli forces atrocity against the international aid flotilla bound for Israeli-occupied Gaza, which led to the murder of nine Turkish activists onboard. While the Palestinians’ struggle for liberation, a homeland and a dignified life certainly deserves all the international aid, support, solidarity and more – we must not however turn a blind eye to those with similar or even worse plight than the Palestinians when there are refugees right here in our country.

Refugee is defined as people who are unable to return to their home countries due to fear of persecution, war or conflict (as currently unraveling in Kyrgyzstan), and therefore they are entitled under international law to protection and assistance. The Palestinians make up a substantial number – 4.8 million refugees from the total 15.2 million refugees worldwide as of end 2009, according to UNHCR, the UN refugee agency. (Note however that the overall total of those forcibly displaced i.e. refugees, asylum seekers and conflict-generated internally displaced persons (IDPs) are estimated at 43.3 million persons, the highest number since the mid-1990s).

In fact there are also quite a few refugees and asylum seekers in Malaysia – numbering at an estimated 90,000 persons according to UNHCR. This number is small compared to Pakistan, hosting 1.7 million refugees; Iran: 1.1 million; Syria: 1.05 million; and Germany: 593,800. As of January 2009, only 36,671 refugees and 9,323 asylum seekers were registered with UNHCR in Malaysia. This registration only affords them a small measure of protection as the government does not generally recognise refugees but instead treat them like any other “illegal” migrant present in the country.

The large majority, some 90 percent are from Burma, mainly ethnic Chin and Rohingya/ Burmese Muslim although there are also sizable number of Karen, Karenni, Kachin, Shan, Mon and Bama refugees and asylum seekers. This should not come as a surprise as the Burmese military junta since seizing power in 1988 has continued to systematically persecute political dissidents and ethnic minorities with arbitrary arrest, detention, torture and even causing deaths, forced labour and portering, forced relocation, land and property seizures, restricted movement and numerous other discriminatory policies.

Come 20 June, come another World Refugee Day with little or no improvement to the lives of refugees in Malaysia. Refugees including those from Sri Lanka, Somalia, Iraq, Afghanistan and occupied Palestine, are still treated as undocumented migrants and subjected to the same harsh immigration laws and policies that include arrest, detention, criminal prosecution, fine, jail, whipping and deportation.

Without government documentation, they are unable to work legally and live in perpetual fear of raids, arrest, harassment and extortion by the police, RELA and the immigration authorities. Consequently, they live in the margins of society, constantly in hiding and living in poverty. They have to scrape together whatever they can find, living day to day in order to feed, clothe and provide shelter for themselves and their families.

When arrested, irrespective of whether they are men, women or children, they will be taken away from their families and friends, will be detained at our infamous detention centres for several months (sometimes even years) before being charged, jailed, whipped (men only) and deported, mainly to the Thai border – only to find themselves sold to human traffickers.

In May and September 2009, two and six Burmese detainees respectively died in two separate detention centres due to Leptospirosis, an infectious disease caused by water or food contaminated with animal urine. This should not be read as isolated incidents as detention death is an everyday reality. Typically, detention conditions are deplorable and inhumane – overcrowding, sweltering, lack bedding, poor hygiene and sanitation, insufficient and poor quality food, irregular access to clean water and medical treatment, all of which fall far short of minimum international standards for places of detention. Serious abuse by detention centre staff is also common including arbitrary beatings.

Then Home Minister Datuk Seri Syed Hamid Albar reported to Parliament that between 1999 and 2008, there were 2,571 detainee deaths in prisons, rehabilitation centres and immigration detention centres (He attributes these deaths to illnesses, fights and suicides and therefore OK). In December 2008, former SUHAKAM Commissioner Datuk Siva Subramaniam said 1,300 foreigners died in detention during the past six years due to lack of medical treatment and neglect.

Are we therefore surprised that Malaysia has been consistently ranked by the US Committee for Refugees and Immigrants (USCRI) in its annual World Refugee Survey, including in 2009, as one of the ten worst places for refugees? What about when the US Senate Committee on Foreign Relations reported in 2009, that during deportations over the past few years, thousands of undocumented Burmese migrants were sold to human traffickers in Thailand, and forced to work in brothels, plantations and fishing trawlers if they were unable to purchase their own release?

How can we be blind to this serious ill-treatment of foreigners including refugees at our own doorsteps when we can see and act on the injustice perpetrated on the Palestinians many thousand miles away?

Can we be principled and take human rights including refugee protection seriously and consistently? Refugees irrespective of their nationality (religion, ethnicity, political opinion etc) must be afforded international protection and we cannot pick and choose who we want to assist and who we want to abuse, detain or deport.

Refugees are real people with real needs. At the very minimum, they need clean water, food, sanitation, shelter, health care and protection from violence and abuse. Can we not provide that? Can we not help them so they have a chance to rebuild their lives, and hopefully one day return to their home countries as preferred by most refugees?

The answer is “yes,” as even our normally unsympathetic government is capable of surprise. You might be astonished to learn that after the December 2004 tsunami in Acheh, the government on humanitarian ground issued the IMM13 work and residence permit to some 30,000 Achehnese who were then seeking refuge in Malaysia. The temporary protection ended in 2008 following the success of the peace accord in Acheh.

But most of time, the government’s answer is “no”. The long residing Rohingyas/ Burmese Muslims (many have been here since the late 1980s and 1990s) were also supposed to be issued with the IMM13 permit in August 2006. But after some allegations of fraud and corruption, the Home Ministry suspended the scheme. Approximately 5,000 Rohingyas had by then registered with the Immigration Department where they paid RM90.00 registration fee but no IMM13 permits were issued.

The government has so far refused to sign the 1951 Convention relating to the Status of Refugees (144 countries have signed up) i.e. the key UN legal document that defines who is a refugee, their rights and legal obligation of state parties. Malaysia’s refusal to sign the Refugee Convention should not however absolve them from not recognising refugees as a special category of vulnerable persons in need of temporary protection as it is bound by other international human rights laws and standards including customary international law that prohibits refoulement (forced expulsion) and torture.

If Malaysia wants to be taken seriously when speaking on human rights issues, more so after its recent re-election to the UN Human Rights Council, it must act consistently for the protection and respect for all human rights wherever they occur – whether in Palestine, Afghanistan, Iraq, Burma or in our very own country.

Instead of mistreating refugees, the government should provide them with documentation, basic humanitarian assistance, access to social services, a chance to work and educate their children, so that they can lead a semblance of a dignified life while they are in our country. And when the time comes, they are able to return to their home countries or resettled in third countries, hopefully in a better condition than they were when they first arrived.

In February 2010, Home Ministry Secretary General Datuk Mahmood Adam announced government plans to issue identification cards to refugees recognised by UNHCR that would entitle them to stay temporarily in the country and perform odd jobs. This plan if implemented properly will be a landmark moment in refugee protection – and finally, a real reason for Malaysia to commemorate World Refugee Day.

Will this promise be kept?

Eric Paulsen is a member of Lawyers for Liberty, a newly formed human rights and law reform initiative.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Al Kisah Cerita Melayu Lama

Gambar dari sini

Semalam, selepas selesai urusan kerja, kunjungan ke Bukit Aman dan perjumpaan di Pusat Bantuan Guaman, aku dan Murnie terus menuju ke Bangsar untuk minum kopi dan makan malam. Kami bertemu Puspa dan Farhana yang telah berjam-jam lamanya berkeliaran di kawasan tersebut sambil menunggu kedatangan kami.

Kami duduk di kedai kopi kegemaran Murni, eh salah, kegemaran kami. Kami bersembang-sembang kisah-kisah menarik yang berlaku pada hari itu. Dalam keadaan kehabisan topik, aku mula mencadangkan agar siapa-siapa yang ada kisah-kisah menarik untuk dikongsi untuk tidak membuang masa dan terus bercerita.

Maka terjadilah perbualan di bawah:-

Sambil-sambil terkesima dengan cerita klasik yang diceritakan berdasarkan catitan buku-buku lama, tiba-tiba terkeluar perbincangan mengenai Hang Tuah dan Hang Jebat.

Kisah Hang Tuah, Hang Jebat dan Hang Kasturi.

Aku : Hang Tuah tu contoh klasik orang-orang yang menurut perintah tanpa usul periksa. Patuh kepada pemimpin yang zalim.

Puspa : Kalau korang baca Sulalatus Salatin, Tun Sri Lanang ada cerita pasal Hang Tuah dan Hang Kasturi yang berentap dengan keris.

Kami : Apa ceritanya?

Puspa : Semasa berlawan antara satu sama lain, bila keris Hang Tuah tertusuk di celah dinding, dan memerlukan masa untuk cuba mengeluarkan keris tersebut, Hang Tuah berkata kepada Hang Kasturi "Kalau kau anak jantan, engkau tidak akan menyerang aku semasa kerisku tertusuk ke dinding".

Puspa : Jadi, bila sahaja keris Hang Tuah tertusuk ke dinding, Hang Kasturi akan tunggu dan memberikan masa untuk Hang Tuah megeluarkan kerisnya dari celahan dinding, baru mereka teruskan berlawan.

Aku : wahhh.. machonya Hang Kasturi, lelaki yang ada visi, misi dan prinsip!

Kami : Lepas tu?

Puspa : Tiba-tiba, keris Hang Kasturi telah tertusuk ke dinding, dengan pantas Hang Tuah telah menyerang dari belakang dan menikam Hang Kasturi dengan 2 tikaman.

Kami : Apakah????? foul play!

Aku : Cis, Hang Tuah adalah lelaki tidak berprinsip!

Kesimpulan cerita-cerita di atas : Banyak, dan masih lagi relevan.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Institusi Polis: Mengawasi dan Diawasi?
Fadiah Nadwa binti Fikri | May 19, 2010 04:55:45 pm (

photo from here

Kerisauan dan kemarahan yang yang timbul baru-baru ini disebabkan kes Aminul Rasyid Amzah adalah kesan daripada hilangnya keyakinan kepada institusi polis. Institusi inilah yang sepatutnya menjalankan tugas mengikut lunas undang-undang dan bukannya berselindung di sebalik impuniti (pengecualian daripada hukuman) setiap kali kejadian tembakan yang menyebabkan maut berlaku atas alasan untuk memberkas suspek di mana nyawa rakyat yang tidak berdosa dan masih belum dibuktikan bersalah dirampas tanpa sebarang justifikasi.

Kejadian pembunuhan di luar kuasa (extra judicial killing) bukanlah sesuatu yang asing di negara kita, terutamanya dalam kes-kes di mana polis melepaskan tembakan yang membawa maut ketika mana polis dikatakan cuba untuk memberkas seseorang suspek.

Mengikut laporan yang dikeluarkan, pada tahun 2009 terdapat sebanyak 39 kes tembakan oleh polis yang menyebabkan kematian ketika mana polis cuba untuk memberkas seseorang individu. 39 kes kematian yang disebabkan tembakan polis ini tidak disiasat oleh mana-mana badan bebas bagi menentukan samada anggota polis yang telah melepaskan tembakan yang menyebabkan maut tersebut telah bertindak dengan atau tanpa justifikasi di bawah undang-undang.

Kes-kes tembakan sebegini akan dilaporkan dengan penuh tidak bertanggungjawab dan berbaur fitnah di dada akhbar, radio dan televisyen utama yang mengatakan bahawa individu-individu yang ditembak adalah penjenayah berdasarkan penemuan senjata seperti parang selepas tembakan dilepaskan. Kenyataan tidak bertanggungjawab dan berbaur fitnah ini dipaparkan setelah polis sendiri mengesahkannya, walaupun tiada sebarang siasatan dibuat untuk memastikan samada tembakan tersebut dilepaskan dengan justifikasi atau tanpa justifikasi di bawah peruntukan undang-undang yang sedia ada.

Malaysia 39 vs England 2

39 angka kematian pada tahun 2009 di Malaysia yang dilaporkan akibat tembakan oleh polis adalah sesuatu yang merisaukan jika dibandingkan dengan angka kematian yang melibatkan tembakan polis iaitu sebanyak dua kematian di seluruh England dan Wales pada tahun 2009.

Melihat kepada statistik mudah di atas, persoalan munasabah yang timbul adalah: Bagaimanakah negara-negara seperti England dan Wales mampu mempunyai institusi polis yang berkesan untuk memelihara nyawa orang awam dan pada masa yang sama bekerja keras membanteras jenayah dalam usaha memberkas suspek, di mana hanya terdapat dua kes kematian yang disebabkan tembakan yang dilepaskan oleh pihak polis?

Bagaimanakah sesebuah negara seperti England dan Wales mampu mempunyai sistem yang secara automatik menyiasat secara bebas setiap kali peluru dilepaskan oleh anggota polis, meskipun peluru tersebut tidak meragut mana-mana nyawa? Bagaimanakah negara seperti England dan Wales mampu menghormati hak untuk hidup seseorang individu, hak untuk diangap tidak bersalah sehingga dibuktikan sebaliknya oleh Mahkamah dan meletakkan kepatuhan yang tinggi pada prinsip undang-undang berkenaan penggunaan senjata api dalam usaha membanteras jenayah?

Nilai kemanusiaan

Bukankah nilai kemanusiaan setiap insan di England, di Wales, di Malaysia, di Afrika atau di mana-mana sahaja adalah sama intipatinya?

Jawapan kepada persoalan-persoalan di atas adalah mudah. Kepatuhan kepada peruntukan undang-undang sedia ada, ketelusan institusi polis dalam membanteras penyalahgunaan kuasa oleh anggota polis itu sendiri dan mekanisma yang telus yang secara automatik menyiasat secara bebas sebarang penyalahgunaan kuasa oleh anggota polis setiap kali tembakan dilepaskan dalam usaha memberkas suspek.

Jika dibandingkan dengan negara kita, adalah menjadi fakta yang meruntun jiwa dan hati nurani di mana, setiap kali seseorang individu mati ditembak polis, namanya terus difitnah dengan label "penjenayah" walaupun individu tersebut tidak pernah disiasat dan dibuktikan kesalahannya dan tiada sebarang siasatan bebas dijalankan untuk memastikan kemunasabahan tindakan anggota polis yang terlibat.

Situasi menjadi lebih parah apabila institusi polis yang sepatutnya tampil ke hadapan untuk menegakkan keadilan walaupan terhadap anggotanya sendiri dengan angkuhnya mempertahankan tindakan anggotanya yang dilakukan di luar nas undang-undang dan menghalang sebarang siasatan telus untuk dijalankan. Tindakan tidak bertanggungjawab ini secara terus-terusan direstui oleh kerajaan yang sepatunya mengetuai barisan hadapan untuk menghukum pencabul-pencabul kuasa dan undang-undang demi melindungi kepentingan rakyat dan kedaulatan undang-undang.

Amanah: Pertahankan undang-undang

Dalam sesebuah negara yang mengamalkan demokrasi, adalah menjadi satu norma untuk sesebuah institusi polis yang telah diamanahkan sebagai pelaksana undang-undang untuk bertindak dan menjalankan tugas mereka berlandaskan prinsip-prinsip keadilan, kebebasan dan hak asasi manusia sepertimana yang telah termaktub di dalam Pengisytiharan Sejagat Hak-Hak Asasi Manusia yang kemudiannya dizahirkan di dalam perlembagaan sesebuah negara demokrasi tersebut.

Fungsi sesebuah institusi polis yang diamanahkan untuk mempertahankan undang-undang dan ketenteraman awam haruslah berlandaskan penggunapakaian undang-undang jenayah yang adil terhadap semua individu. Ini adalah kerana institusi polis dilihat sebagai sebuah badan yang bertanggungjawab untuk melindungi orang-orang yang tidak bersalah, membawa ke muka pengadilan orang-orang yang melanggar undang-undang, berusaha keras menegakkan prinsip-prinsip keadilan dan bertindak di bawah peruntukan undang-undang dan memerangi sebarang pengalahgunaan kuasa oleh mana-mana anggota polis demi menjaga nama baik institusi polis tersebut.

Kepatuhan kepada prinsip-prinsip ini adalah penting dalam menjamin keberkesanan fungsi institusi polis tersebut dan pada masa yang sama memberikan keyakinan kepada rakyat bahawa institusi ini adalah berkesan dan telus dalam menjaga ketenteraman awam dengan mewujudkan persekitaran yang selamat di mana jenayah dibanteras mengikut lunas undang-undang, bebas daripada sebarang penyalahgunaan kuasa.

Haruslah diingatkan bahawa, penyalahgunaan kuasa oleh institusi polis yang berlaku akibat penyelewengan penggunapakaian undang-undang dan ketiadaan mekanisma bebas sebagai pemerhati akan memberikan kesan yang buruk kepada orang awam. Ini adalah kerana keberkesanan dan ketelusan fungsi polis tidak dapat lagi dijamin seandainya peruntukan undang-undang tidak digunapakai mengikut garis panduan yang ditetapkan di mana jenayah yang sebenar gagal untuk ditangani dan pada masa yang sama orang-orang awam yang tidak bersalah dan orang-orang yang masih belum dibuktikan bersalah oleh Mahkamah dihukum tanpa sebarang justifikasi.

Realitinya jelas, rakyat adalah sendiri dan setelah sekian lama dibiarkan sendiri untuk mempertahankan prinsip keadilan, kedaulatan undang-undang dan kemaslahatan bersama, memandangkan kewujudan penguatkuasa undang-undang di negara kita hanya sekadar boneka kertas dan indah khabar dari rupa. Rakyat semakin hari semakin sendiri dalam berjuang untuk membawa perubahan dalam institusi polis di mana laungan-laungan suara keramat untuk penubuhan satu suruhanjaya bebas yang bertindak sebagai mekanisma pemerhati penyalahgunaan kuasa oleh institusi polis ditepis dan ditolak dengan sinis oleh kerajaan yang sepatutnya mengepalai usaha-usaha untuk membawa perubahan positif demi kemaslahatan rakyat.

Kita tidak mampu lagi untuk berdiam diri dan membiarkan amanah-amanah yang diletakkan di bahu penguatkuasa undang-undang terus-terusan dicabuli dan direstui kerana usaha kita untuk memartabatkan negara kita, ketamadunan masyarakat kita, kemanusiaan kita dan kedaulatan undang-undang kita adalah terletak kepada prinsip-prinsip keadilan yang perlu ditegakkan, tanpa mengira siapa, samada terhadap seseorang individu, sesebuah institusi, ataupun terhadap pemerintah.

*Fadiah Nadwa Binti Fikri ialah ahli Lawyers for Liberty dan Setiausaha Kehormat Pusat Bantuan Guaman Majlis Peguam Kuala Lumpur.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Freedom of Expression : Emotional?!

photo from here

There's a stark difference between freedom of expression and the contents of the expression. Differences of opinions is a blessing. Yes, only if it is of level playing field. Yes, if it is meant for reform and betterment.Yes, if it does not begin with these words "memang padan muka budak tu kena tembak!""mak bapak dia pon patut kena tembak".

And to plead "you are too emotional" in response to people who react to these diabolic words particularly in issues concerning human life, dignity, humanity and justice couldn't be any more lame than that. People died for these principles in the past.

And why are we too emotional about the teen shooting case? Because the existing system is failing miserably. Why the conscientious public is furious over the shooting and they consequently expressed their feelings in public domain? Because they can't afford to wait for another life to be lost, without justification as we speak.

Yes, it's easy to say "go to court", but can we afford to wait for another life to be lost while the authorities are adamant in opposing reform and while the case is ongoing in court? We can't afford to wait to lose another life and later resolve everything in court can we?

Why reform is deemed as if it's such a curse? Are we being executed for being too idealistic about reform that is viably possible? If other civilized countries can implement such reform, why can't we? Why do we only emulate them when it comes to material development and not when it comes to human development?


And if you ask me, I'd rather be emotional than heartless, if that's what it takes for me to realize the fact that I'm still human.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

After I woke up yesterday, I picked up the phone and called mak "Mak, happy mother's day!". She said "terima kasih!!".

And today, I feel like writing something for her, on this blog.


Thank you so much for being the coolest mom ever.
Thank you so much for loving me, unconditionally.
Thank you so much for putting up with my antics and my unbreakable stubbornness.
Thank you so much for giving Abah a long lecture when he flipped out the moment he found out I got arrested.
Thank you so much for your support in everything I do.
Thank you so much for giving me your blessing for every single thing that I do despite the worrying thoughts at the back of your head.
Thank you for always telling me that your prayers are always with me.

Thursday, May 06, 2010


photo from here

Last night, while Farhana, Murni and I were having dinner in Bangsar, we got a call from Suren that Azamudin, a key witness to the shooting of Aminul Rasyid Amzah was asked by the police to follow them to the shooting scene and he needed to be accompanied by lawyers. We rushed to Shah Alam IPK to accompany Azamudin.

As we were walking up the hill, he was telling me how he escaped from the beating by 4-5 policemen after the car crashed into a drain. while we were on our way down, I asked him how he felt when he was running for his life and all he could see was one police officer aiming a gun at him and the other was counting 1,2..

He said "saya sangat takut kak, rasa nak menangis tapi air mata saya tak boleh keluar...bila saya balik rumah, saya nak menangis tapi saya tak tau kenapa air mata saya tak boleh keluar".(I was so scared that I wanted to cry, but tears couldn't come out..when I went home, I wanted to cry, but still tears couldn't come out)

All I could do was pat his back. I could never possibly imagine myself being in his shoes.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Tembak untuk menangkap atau membunuh?

"Bolehkah polis tembak orang awam tanpa sebarang justifikasi?".Ini adalah soalan yang aku masih ingat ketika mana ditanya oleh salah seorang wartawan ketika kami cuba untuk menyampaikan memorandum kepada Menteri Dalam Negeri berkenaan kejadian seorang ibu tunggal, Norizan Salleh yang ditembak secara rambang oleh polis.

Kes Norizan Saleh merupakan satu-satunya kes di mana mangsa masih hidup dan dapat menceritakan apa sebenarnya yang terjadi dan memberi jawapan samada tindakan polis menembak beliau dan rakan-rakannya adalah di bawah peruntukan undang-undang dalam pelaksanaan tugas atau satu cubaan membunuh.

Mungkin, kalau aku masih kecil dan mentah, aku tidak akan dapat memahami bahawa adanya kes-kes di mana polis menembak orang awam tanpa sebarang justifikasi dan melanggar peruntukan undang-undang.

Mungkin kalau aku masih kecil dan mentah, bilamana aku membaca surat khabar dan menonton berita-berita tv utama yang menyatakan polis telah menembak mati penjenayah yang dikehendaki, aku akan merasa lega bahawa polis telah menjalankan tugas mereka untuk membanteras jenayah.

Tetapi, sepantas masa berlalu, aku tidak lagi mentah untuk memahami bahawa setiap manusia boleh bertindak diluar pertimbangan seandainya manusia itu diberikan kuasa.

Oleh sebab itu, manusia memerlukan undang-undang dan peraturan-peraturan yang tegas untuk menghadkan penyalahgunaan kuasa dan memastikan pelaksanaan kuasa adalah di bawah nas-nas undang-undang dan kemanusiaan.

Semalam, semasa aku dan teman-teman berjumpa di kedai kopi untuk berbincang tentang sesuatu, kami telah dihubungi oleh teman kepada kelurga arwah adik Aminul Rashid yang ditembak mati oleh polis berhampiran dengan rumahnya. Kami bergegas ke Shah Alam untuk bertemu keluarga adik Aminul Rashid untuk mengetahui kedudukan sebenar.

Ibu adik Aminul Rashid cuba untuk menceritakan apa yang berlaku sambil menahan air mata. “Dia anak yang baik, di sangat aktif dalam sukan. Jiran-jiran, kawan-kawan dan cikgu-cikgu di sekolah semua terkejut kenapa dia dituduh sebagai penjenayah. Mereka semua berjanji nak bersihkan nama dia bila ke sekolah esok”.

Inilah rintihan hati seorang ibu yang kehilangan seorang anak yang berumur 15 tahun yang diragut nyawanya dalam sekelip mata.

Adik Aminul Rashid keluar dari rumah dengan memandu kereta kakaknya bersama seorang kawan untuk minum-minum di restoran mamak berhampiran di mana kereta yang dipandunya tergesel dengan satu kereta lain. Akibat terlalu takut, adik Aminul Rashid cuba untuk melarikan diri dan memandu pulang ke rumah.

Dalam keadaan kelam kabut, keretanya melalui kereta polis dan polis terus mengejar dan melepaskan tembakan. Empat biji tayar telah ditembak tetapi terdapat juga beberapa tembakan yang dihalakan ke cermin kereta walaupun kereta telah berhenti akibat berlanggar tembok. Satu peluru menembusi kereta dan membunuh adik Aminul Rashid.

Kawannya yang dalam keadaan panik keluar dari kereta dan anggota-anggota polis telah memukulnya dari belakang dan memijaknya beramai-ramai.

Persoalannya, bolehkah polis menembak sesiapa saja dengan niat untuk membunuh (shoot to kill) dan bukannya untuk menangkap, tidak kira orang awam ataupun suspek dalam usaha menangkap indidvidu tersebut?

Undang-undang memperuntukkan bahawa polis tidak boleh menggunakan senjata api dengan sewenang-wenangnya, tanpa justifikasi dalam cubaan untuk menangkap seseorang individu. Ini adalah selaras dengan prinsip undang-undang Bangsa-Bangsa Bersatu tentang penggunakan senjata api oleh pihak berkuasa.

Aku masih ingat semasa memorandum untuk siasatan awam ditubuhkan dihantar kepada SUHAKAM beberapa bulan lepas untuk kes Norizan Saleh, Pesuruhjaya Dato’ Siva menyatakan bahawa di negara-negara maju yang lain, polis tidak lagi menggunakan senjata yang boleh membunuh dalam cubaan menangkap seseorang individu.

Aku juga masih ingat ketika Norizan Saleh memberikan keterangan di SUHAKAM, polis yang menggunakan justifikasi bahawa beliau dan rakan-rakan ditembak kerana disyaki untuk menyamun tidak pernah didakwa sehingga ke hari ini.

Pihak polis juga terang-terangan ketika mana hospital memaklumkan tentang penejelasan bil perubatan Norizan Saleh menyatakan bahawa kes ini adalah kemalangan jalan raya dan polis tiada kena mengena.

Bila aku amati fakta-fakta ini, aku terfikir. Perasaan gerun mula menghinggap dalam fikiran. Aku ada seorang adik, aku ada seorang abang, aku ada seorang emak. Jika tindakan kejam ini dibiarkan dan berleluasa, apakah jaminan yang aku, adik aku, abang aku, atau keluarga kamu tidak akan terekecuali?

Mereka tidak dapat bersuara untuk menceritakan keadaan sebenar. Kita yang masih bernyawa perlu bersuara untuk mereka agar keadilan dapat ditegakkan kerana keadilan dan kebenaran tidak pernah bisu atau tidak mampu melihat.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010


Ape benda itu radicalism? Ia bukannya sejenis makanan atau sejenis pistol mahu pon sejenis bom. Anda akan kenal apa itu radicalism jika anda meneliti gerakan kebebasan rakyat di sepanjang sejarah ketamadunan manusia. Yang pasti, radicalism itu bukanlah seperti berikut :-

1)berlagak seperti seorang hero dengan kata-kata bombastik di hadapan peminat-peminat;
2)menulis berkoyan-koyan artikel di ruang-ruang siber seperti seorang hero tetapi bersembunyi disebalik bangunan CIMB Bank ketika protest rakyat dijalankan;
3)berdiam diri walaupon isu-isu prinsipal dipersoalkan kerana takut kehilangan populariti.

Masih banyak lagi yang saya harus pelajari tentang radicalism. Petikan kata-kata di bawah telah menarik minat saya untuk lebih mendalami apa itu radicalism:-

"[T]he more radical the person is, the more fully he or she enters into reality so that, knowing it better, he or she can transform it. This individual is not afraid to confront, to listen, to see the world unveiled. This person is not afraid to meet the people or to enter into a dialogue with them. This person does not consider himself or herself the proprietor of history or of all people, or the liberator of the oppressed; but he or she does commit himself or herself, within history, to fight at their side."-Paolo Freire [Pedagogy of the oppressed]


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Demo/Tunjuk Perasaan/Protest/Perhimpunan Aman

photo from here.

Puspa : bos aku join demo di Kampung Terentang semalam, comel.

Aku:tulah, budaya demo semakin harum, ni tgh prepare jurisprudential aspect of demo/public protest for suhakam written submission.

Puspa: apa pendapat puan filasuf?

Aku: Demo adalah historic right yang significant dalam mentamadunkan manusia, tengok bagaimana British akhirnya dihalau oleh demo garam yang *dikepapi* Gandhi.

Puspa: kepapi tu ape?


**dua-dua gelak!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Of Jamie Oliver, Anthony Bourdain and a Vege Garden

Photo from here

I always think that Jamie Oliver and Anthony Bourdain got the coolest job ever! Ya, I always adore these two as I just couldn't help myself from being overly amused by their antics on AFC and Travel and Living channels.

Bourdain and his sarcastic jokes, roaming around planet earth in search for a great thing that could bring everyone together--F.O.O.D. Exploring different culture and heritage couldn't be more intriguing. Oh, how I wish I was Anthony Bourdain. I get to travel the world and eat, meet different people and eat and experience different culture and eat some more. And..get paid for it [eat]!How cool is that?

And Jamie, a cool chef who is extremely passionate with his cooking. Baling bawang, perah lemon..tadaa...his recipe never fails my taste buds. When I talk about Jamie over and over again, particularly after trying his recipe, a friend of mine would always ask, "Jamie?? which Jamie?" and I would reply, "it's Jamie Oliver!" "Ohh, when you mentioned him it's as if he is your neighbour or something". Ya, food can break the celebrity-fan wall I would say.

Oh how I wish I was Jamie Oliver. How I wish I had a little vegetable garden in my backyard, pluck the vegetables and cook them, eat the food with some close friends, and play drums in a band afterward. A simple, yet a cool life it is.

But,come to think of "how I wish this and how I wish that..", as much as we love to live in somebody else's life, we have to accept the fact that we are different in our own ways. It's entirely our prerogative how to live our lives and make them meaningful. At least, on the day we leave everything behind us, we get to look back and be proud of something that we have left, something that is immortal.

Hmm, whatever it is, I'm still gonna have my own little vege garden in my backyard, When? When I can afford to buy my own house.When? God knows when!:P

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Pembangunan dan Kezaliman?

Sesetengah golongan manusia sanggup bermatian-matian mempertahankan sesuatu kepercayaan atas justifikasi pembangunan. Memejamkan bukan sahaja mata, tetapi hati nurani dan perikemanusiaan daripada realiti yang zalim. Di Malaysia, kita tidak berkecuali.

Betapa golongan manusia ini akan membentangkan indeks GDP dalam membentangkan analisa perkembangan ekonomi untuk berbangga dengan kemajuan yang kononnya dicapai. Ditambah pula dengan fahaman pembangunan yang diselebungi semangat membela nasib Melayu dan mempertahakan kemelayuan.Hidup Melayu, mati Melayu, sehinggakan Melayu itu sendiri disembah dan dipuja seperti sebuah agama.

Berbanggalah dengan pertumbuhan ekonomi yang dicanang-canangkan.Berbanggalah, dan terus berbanggalah di saat sebuah kampung di Terengganu yang didiami sejak tahun 1934 diroboh pada hari ini dengan rakus oleh pemerintah.

Berbanggalah kerana mereka dilabel sebagai setinggan, walhal dari segi undang-undang mereka adalah anak jati tanah air Malaysia yang merupakan peneroka bandar dan hak mereka adalah termaktub di bawah doktrin "adverse possession" yang bukanlah doktrin asing di bawah "common law". Berbanggalah kerana hak mereka untuk hidup dalam sebuah rumah seolah-olah tidak pernah wujud di bumi yang penuh kemelayuan ini.

Berbanggalah dengan kemelayuan pemerintah yang mengusir mereka, meninggalkan mereka sehelai sepinggang di bumi mereka sendiri, tidak berumah dan hanya berbumbungkan langit. Berbanggalah dengan analisa ekonomi dangkal untuk terus bermegah-megah dengan pendirian jitu itu di mana pada masa yang sama golongan yang paling memerlukan perlindungan ditindas dan dipijak, terus-terusan, untuk sekian waktu yang terlalu panjang.

Berbanggalah, sehari selepas Mahkamah Persekutuan memutuskan siapa Menteri Besar Perak yang baru, sebuah kampung di Perak yang didiami orang-orang miskin dirobohkan dengan rakus.

Berbanggalah di mana tanah orang-orang asal diceroboh dan dirampas dengan zalim.Anak-anak perempuan dan wanita mereka dirogol dan dicabuli tanpa sebarang pembelaan dari pihak pemerintah.

Berbanggalah dengan pembangunan dan kemelayuan itu.

Tuhan yang satu berbicara dalam surah Al-Ma'un : Celakalah mereka yang mendirikan solat, seandainya mereka memalingkan orang-orang yang miskin dan memerlukan.

Monday, February 22, 2010


On the last weekend, things had gone back to normal, normal as in no more extra sleep until God knows what time to wake up on weekends. After the KLLAC Annual Review and Election ended, I decided to join the Refugee Law and Refugee Status Determination (RSD) Workshop held at Cititel.

It has been quite some time that I've not had this kind of training and that really makes me feel like I'm the most ignorant person on earth as my level of knowledge in a particular field of interest can be rated as bad!

The workshop was more like a crash course as we needed to learn about refugee law and legal representation in the process of determination of refugee status in just 3 days.

Participants were given a number of thick documents as reference and seriously speaking, this feels exactly like learning public international law back in uni, with all the thick reference books and cases.

The experience was extremely interesting and refreshing I would say, particularly in continuing the long struggle to get the government to ratify the Refugee Convention as to give due protection to the refugees.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Selamat menyambut Tahun Baru Cina kepada rakan-rakan semua.

Cuti adalah salah satu perkara yang paling menggembirakan hati aku, sebagai seorang yang sangat menghargai nikmat tidur. Cuti juga adalah hak yang paling agung bagi seorang pekerja macam aku dan pekerja-pekerja lain di mana-mana jua. Cuti juga merupakan saat di mana kita semua bebas melakukan apa jua aktiviti pada bila-bila masa.

Cuti Tahun Baru Cina minggu lepas memang aku sangat nanti-nantikan untuk aku memanjakan diri dengan tidur. Bebas dari gangguan jam loceng dan deringan-deringan telefon kerana silent mode akan diaktifkan sejurus persiapan untuk tidur dilengkapkan.


Hari Sabtu lepas, setelah bangun dari tidur yang indah, aku melawat dua orang sepupu kecil aku, Zahwa dan Zakhrif di Bukit Beruntung. Agak lama juga aku tidak meluangkan masa dengan mereka berdua. Sebelum isu aku kurang memberi perhatian kepada ahli keluarga menjadi isu-isu berbangkit, lebih elok seandainya aku mengambil langkah pencegahan.

Zahwa dan Zakhrif sangat gembira pada hari tu. Aku sempat bawak mereka main di padang permainan. Bila saja aku bersiap-siap untuk pulang ke rumah, mereka terus bertanya ke mana aku hendak pergi. Wajah mereka terus berubah dan tidak segembira tadi dan ini membuatkan aku rasa bersalah. Aku berjanji akan melawat mereka lagi di waktu lapang.


Kebelakangan ini, seolah-olah ada serangan ombak kedua selepas bulan Disember tahun lepas untuk jemputan ke majlis perkahwinan. Ahad lepas, Ayu, yang merupakan kawan baik Sasha telah melangsungkan perkahwinannya di Pandan Indah. Aku, Farhana, Sasha dan beberapa kawan-kawan lain melepak di tempat kenduri sampai orang angkat meja dan kerusi.Itu memang perkara biasa. Bila saja melepak, tidak kiralah di mana-mana sahaja memang kami akan lupa dunia seketika, kalau di kedai kopi pun akan berjam-berjam sampai kedai tutup dan diminta dengan sopannya untuk beredar.


Isnin pula, kami telah dipaksa oleh keadaan untuk bangun awal untuk bergerak ke acara mandi air terjun di Kuala Kubu Baru. Peserta terdiri daripada aku, Farhana, Murni, Syuhaini dan Fajrina. Semua ditugaskan untuk memasak dan membawa makanan. Kononnya rancangan awal untuk bergerak pada pukul 7 pagi. Memandangkan semua terlalu sayang dengan waktu tidur, kami bergerak pada pukul 10 pagi. Tatkala sampai sahaja di tempat yang telah kami tandakan sebagai kawasan kami, kami nampak berderet-deret kereta di sepanjang jalan. Kami kecewa. Pelan untuk menguasai tempat tersebut gagal.

Adalah menjadi pantang larang aku untuk berkelah di tempat orang yang ramai di mana sukar untuk aku menandakan teritori aku sendiri. Sudah menjadi kebiasaan dari aku kecil lagi untuk memberontak sendainya ingin berkelah, terdapat orang ramai yang sampai dahulu di tempat perkelahan sebelum aku. Aku akan memberontak dengan memaksa abah mencari tempat yang tiada orang ramai di mana aku, kakak, abang dan adik dapat menguasai tempat tersebut.

Control freak? When it comes to this, yes!

Setelah membuat pusingan U, kami bercadang untuk meneroka Santuari Ikan Sungai Chiling di kawasan berhampiran. Menurut seorang rakan, ada air terjun yang sangat cantik di situ.Aku memetik kata-kata rakan tersebut "best tempat tu, ikan-ikan berenang-renang celah ketiak". Kami berjaya menemui tapak perkhemahan yang disediakan pihak perhilitan.

Dan yang paling menarik, kami semua berjaya menemui air terjun yang sangat cantik dan bersih, dan yang paling menggembirakan hati, tiada orang ramai!!Kami telah berjaya menguasai tempat tersebut. Mandi, makan, tidur, dan mandi lagi. Indah.


Setelah berjanji dengan Mr. P, aku, Farhana, Murni dan Syuhaini telah menghabiskan seawal pagi Selasa untuk bermain dengan kuda di Bukit Kiara. Mr. P mempunyai dua ekor kuda yang sangat gagah dan cantik. Kora dan Gat (aku tidak pasti dengan ejaannya). Kami telah diberi taklimat tentang seni sukan berkuda dan menyelami kehidupan kuda-kuda di sekeliling. Sangat menarik bagaimana manusia boleh berkomunikasi dan berkasih sayang dengan haiwan dan saling faham memahami antara satu sama lain. Ini merupakan perkara baru yang menarik bagi aku, yang mempunyai rasa takut kepada haiwan seperti gajah, zirafah, kucing, ayam dan sebagainya.

Aku dapat rasakan jantung aku berdegup kencang apabila kuda-kuda tersebut berdiri dekat dengan aku. Menunggang kuda? Jauh sekali kerana untuk memegang kuda pun aku takkan pernah mampu kerana terlalu takut. Tapi, aku sangat gembira kerana aku telah berjaya mengaharungi rasa takut pada hari itu, aku berjaya naik ke atas kuda dan memegangnya. Mungkin keberanian ini datang dari rasa hormat kepada Mr. P yang tidak putus asa menyuruh aku untuk melawan rasa takut itu.Aku boleh!!

Setelah pagi itu, kami semua agak terpanggil untuk pergi lagi bermain dengan kuda-kuda tersebut. Kami merancang untuk mengambil kelas menunggang kuda dan menyelami seni sukan berkuda dengan lebih mendalam lagi.

Sekian sahaja cuti-cuti sempena Tahun Baru Cina 2010.

Monday, February 08, 2010


Yes, the inquiry is still ongoing. For the past weekend, I had to skip Mentari Project, again, due to this ongoing inquiry.

I have to admit that the proceeding never fails to amuse me.The issue is very much conceptualized as the nature of the proceeding revolves primarily around the issue of human rights ie the breach of right to legal representation. Having to listen to answers like "I don't know" and "maybe it's incorrect" coming from the witnesses makes me wonder. Why? Why these people are so hostile towards the words "human rights".

Given the opportunity to sit throughout the proceeding, I got to observe quite a number of intriguing facts as the witnesses from the police force testified.

Observation 1

1)DSP Jude Pereira, when asked whether he actually communicated with the lawyers before the lawyers were arrested admitted that he actually did. And he went on saying that "they look so young, they don't look like lawyers, they look like school going children, or just graduated from college and they are women"!

Hold it right there, should we feel flattered that we look young? Or should we feel offended that just because we are women, the fact that we went to the police station to discharge our statutory duties appeared to him to be so overwhelmingly out of the norm that no women on earth should be doing what we did that night.

Earlier on when asked by the commission to describe the situation on the night prior to the arrest, he said that the police felt vulnerable by the presence of the lawyers, the armory might be hijacked and the whole police station might be under attack. Wow! young and dangerous eh?

Observation 2

When the DSP revoked our 14 clients' rights to see lawyers that night, he testified that the 14 were very uncooperative, they were raising their voices asking for lawyers, and they were singing negaraku. When asked by our counsel whether the above mentioned conducts constitute an offence under any existing laws, the infamous OCPD of Brickfields who ordered the arrest said no.

And surprise surprise, the ground relied on by the DSP in revoking the right of our 14 clients to see lawyers was the fact that they raised their voices, demanding their rights to see their lawyers.

Behold, by demanding your constitutional right to see your lawyers, your demand can be used against you and your right which has been guaranteed under the Constitution will go down the drain, just like that.

Intriguing is it not? The proceeding continues tonight, 8pm-10pm, SUHAKAM, Level 29,Menara Tun Razak.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Filem Melayu : Agama dan Melayu?

Maka tersebutlah kisah pada satu petang, dalam keadaan penuh kebosanan, aku mencari-cari saluran tv yang menarik...memandangkan semua program amatlah membosankan jadi aku pon biarkan saja satu saluran tv yang menyajikan satu filem melayu terpapar di depan aku tanpa ditukar ke saluran lain.

Ini adalah dialog antara seorang suami dan isteri yang sedang membincangkan perihal anak-anak lelaki mereka.

Suami : Abang berharap kita dapat memberikan pendidikan agama kepada anak-anak kita, nanti bila kita dah mati, semoga doa mereka sampai pada kita.

Isteri : Betul bang, dengan pendidikan agama yang kita berikan, barulah melayu!

Aku terdiam seketika. Kemudian sambil menggelengkan kepala aku cuba untuk mengingat kembali pendidikan agama yang aku belajar masa aku kecil dahulu. Tak pernah aku jumpa konsep agama mencerminkan bangsa.

Konsep yang paling aku ingat masa di sekolah rendah dahulu yang sampai sekarang masih lekat dalam kepala adalah konsep kesamaraataan (equality) antara manusia. Konsep universal tentang kesamaraataan manusia ni dipetik dari khutbah terakhir Nabi Muhammad sebelum beliau meninggalkan kita, umat manusia.

Konsep kesamarataan.Tiada seorang manusia pun yang layak diletakkan di tempat yang lebih tinggi dari manusia yang lain. Kerana tempat yang tinggi itu hanyalah untuk Pencipta.

Yang menentukan ketinggian martabat seorang manusia adalah taqwa kepada Pencipta dan perilaku yang baik dalam menjalankan tugas mentadbir dunia yang diamanahkan oleh Pencipta.Bukan bangsa atau keturunannya.Bukan kaya atau miskinnya.Dan bukan juga betapa tinggi CGPA nya.

Jadi, dari mana datangnya konsep agama itu mencerminkan bangsa?

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Green Day

I'm still caught up with Green Day fever after coming back from Singapore. I keep on playing American Idiot album over and over again since Monday while trying to ignore the annoying constant coughing and high fever.

Had a meeting at LAC yesterday and R asked why do I love the band so much. I've always loved Green Day since school. Hitching a ride, basket case and the list goes on. It's the kind of music that I would simply love, back then when I was younger.

But as I was growing old-ER, they came out with such brilliant albums-American Idiot and the latest one, 21st Century Breakdown. And now, when people ask me why do I like Green Day? My answer would be-they are very political...and that makes me love them even more.

And my favourite song would always be Holiday which heavily criticized Bush administration and Iraq war.There you go, a little review on the kinda music and band that I'm crazily into.

p/s: Dear ML, this entry is not morbid isn't it?:P