Wednesday, January 30, 2008

there's nothing much to look forward to on weekdays beside your daily boring jaded.

yah i know, whining isn't gonna do much help...weekends have always been the best remedy for acute attack of fatigue..but the problem is, i just have 48 hours to do almost everything and to meet up almost every one...but that 48 hours have always been enough to spare me from being mentally handicapped for the next 120 hours.

i never knew tutoring/teaching could be utterly exhausting...our voluntary tuition project in desa mentari proved that was great to see the number of our students multiplied from 8 students to almost 30 students..the commitment showed was overwhelming, both from the students and the tutors...indeed education is an ongoing process...the process is requires patience of the highest degree..a good lesson for me, i believe, as the last time i remember tutoring was my youngest brother..he would end up crying his eyes out and pledged not to be taught by me ever again..i just lost it every time!

and to my amazement, i wonder how do i do it, that my level of patience has to a certain degree improved...i thank God for that.

later that afternoon, far and me went to IPK KL to provide legal representation for those arrested after the police crackdown on peaceful assembly in klcc...and it's nothing new that right to legal representation has been for the million times denied. it's no longer funny nor weird. the crucial right protecting one's liberty has been grossly violated. imagine, on one fine day, you, or your family member is suddenly arrested and detained by the Police...and you or your family cannot in any way have access to lawyers...i wonder how does that feel if it ever happens to us?or are we gonna just turn away and say it's none of our business?

on sunday afternoon, we were literally "locked up" inside the pudu jail, waiting for remand hearing...statements were taken and the detainees were walking around barefoot. something struck me in the head. how can humanity allow such degrading treatment on human beings...cant we even afford to provide slippers which cost RM2.00??"innocent until proven guilty" principle was not meant to only be on papers.

and one thing for sure, you will be questioned by God for every single thing that you do or fail to do..

or have we done enough to fight for those who cant fight for themselves?

Thursday, January 24, 2008

working life can be utterly drudgery, physically or mentally, hence one day off from work can cause me and my possy (read: nad and far) extreme happiness that we decided not to go straight home after work. we went to section 17 pasar malam, reminiscing the great times we used to have 7 years ago...carefree, being immature about lotsa things...lepak session almost every day...those were the days...

then we were wondering..where to eat, definitely not at our place, it was depressing having to head back home early when the next day was a public holiday. we decided to hang out by the lake somewhere in pj..the place was a little dark, and the chances of being robbed were pretty high,we decided to go to some other place safer...a padang in front of amcorp mall seemed perfect...we talked about so many things, from nonsense to no-nonsense subject and laughing over nad's tongue tied-ness which sounded more like "sesi cakap2 manja":

"commercial loan senang je TABI..." (read: tapi)
"having to deal with banks is hard..especially *** JANK (read: bank)
"sedapnya chef ni masak, eh..dia letak FISH SHOSH (read: fish sauce)
"..memang..tambah2 lagi bila MAJOR EK-JEM (read: major exam)

i guess that's enough for's always a big mistake to get tongue-tied in front of either me, far or this would be used against us for at least a month...God, i wonder what life would be without friends who'll be with you through bad times...

still couldnt get the good memories that we had in penang out of my mind..well, penang has always been our second home and we literally drive all the way to penang once a month, just to hang out at queensbay, eat tandoori chicken at kapitan and jalan2 in batu feringgi with encik abu haimi...and during the last week penang trip, we pledged on something that will materialize in short.."FREEDOM"!

and starting to miss my sister and abang azlee...i know they'll be just fine...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

..and i wish..

simplicity has always been the way i see how my life is lived...being around good friends..friends who simply make me happy, friends who i look up to, and friends who i would run to whenever i feel down...shoulders to cry on...doing things that ive been dying to has always been enough for me...but sometimes things do not always work that way..things can get complicated as you grow older...simplicity doesnt really work all the time...

last week was so compelling that i could hardly sleep...working life has become demanding...still, decision had to be made...being put in a position where you have to choose and there's actually not so much of a boss told me that i should have the confidence in me for what was bugging me was the fear of letting people down...and my boss told me that was not even a reason...

yesterday, when i was in court, while i was waiting for my file which had yet to be found, Radziq told me something ..."make the decision first then pray to God that it is the right thing to do"...hopefully...

and all that i could think of right now is to run away from this place, and disappear for a moment, cut off any human contacts...God i wish this will come true..

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

2.30pm-5.30pm--the desa mentari voluntary tuition project went perfectly well despite the fact that we initially had only eight registered students in the beginning...the moment we stepped into the room, i could feel the anticipation from both the kids and the parents..and i hafta admit that it kinda freaked me out a little..far and me were like "nervous nya...because the parents are here"..and to my amazement, the number of students multiplied and filled up every inch of the room...after wrapping up, we realized that there's a lot of things need to be done..

6.30pm-10.30pm--getting ready to meet up members of monitoring team for the Anti-ISA candlelight vigil which was scheduled to be held at dataran was fairly a quiet night and it was drizzling...enough said on the constitutionality of right to peaceful assembly and unconstitutionality of requirement of police permit, GMI (Gerakan Mansukhkan ISA) and its coalition members together with conscious and concerned citizens waited patiently for the police to announce the result of permit application which was made a few days before (as there were series of inconsistent response from the police on the status of permit application including missing application form (funny how cekap betul dan amanah thing can cause such mishap eh?)'s a bolehland anyway...entrance to dataran was closed, FRUs were in position...(i never knew that ordinary citizens with candles in their hands can be such an imminent threat to national security...if it's accordance with their unilateral and biased definition of threat to national security..i guess bolehlah kot...

for me, it was just another event of expressing your belief on something...why is that any different from people who are allowed to celebrate new year or go to a concert and the ones who are just expressing themselves against injustice and maladministration of justice...national security?who gives them the right to prematurely determine what amounts to national threat..for example, new year celebration (which i would never go, i see no point of going, getting myself exposed to people who are extremely drunk and get susceptible to sexual harassment, note: no offense people,it has always been my principle on this, not trying to play saint here)...but would it be fair if the whole idea of celebrating new year with your family be ruled out just like that?as far as im concerned, the Police would be at the place, try to maintain the situation and only engage whenever has always been that way..question? why the double standard attitude when it comes to peaceful assembly...since when it's a sin to express your feelings on injustice??weird isn't it..but that's reality!