as new year is approaching..there's only one thing id like to say.."dont live in the past..its absolutely obsolete...."-happy new year to all and a blissful eidul adha....

as i was laughing over the old episodes of friends...and continuously laughing over a phone call which was intentionally to envy me..(siapla azri and loko!!!)-fad and pak abu will be back with our sweet revenge..ehehe...my sister was like "adik!!!turun cepat!!!and i was like "awat?"-my sister and my mom have this obsession in buying textile..tonnes and tonnes of it...and mom was like.."look at yours.."and kakak was like "cantak dak cantak dak?"-it runs in the family to change the pronunciations of words and it has successfully infected both abang arzlee and kakak halimah as now they're one of us..heheh...i was surprised to see a black and white cloth...and i was told it is for my long call which is 3 months away...i know mom got excited about it..ehehe..and she was "cina kat kedai tu cakap kat mak..dato' azizah hakim sesyen court pon bli kain black and white kat situ sbb cantik...."and all that i can do is smile...as much as im looking forward to having my long call..i know mom and dad are more excited than me...hmmm..."

its a week away to bid farewell to 2006...and im looking forward to making more steps ahead next year...may Allah keep me strong to face the future....ameen....

yesterday as i was on duty in legal aid...i was assigned with a case on mitigation as the accused intended to plead guilty today... and to make things more dramatic the case was in magistrate's court 2..the ever feared court ever...and when i woke up at 630 to pray i was like oh God..i was dreaming of doing mitigation last nite...

as i was waiting for my case to be called up..tuan mazdi seemed to be not in the mood because many accuseds who had already pleaded guilty before withdrew their gulity plea today when sentence was ready to be passed..and i was like..o'o...God please save me...when my case was called up...the accused pleaded guilty and when tuan asked on mitigation..i stood up and submitted on factors of mitigation and the part that made me wanna laugh after the case was done was, i remember me saying.."tuan, saya percaya bahawa okt telah bertaubat dan tidak akan mengulangi kesalahan ini"-pretty dramatic i guess...i submitted on the point of law supported by cases..and then i was done...one of the mitigating factors that i submitted to the court was, the accused had no previous conviction...the accused was charged under section 380 which carries max 10 years imprisonment and fine...

as the p.o closed the submission on mitigation, it was time for the magistrate to pass the sentence..the accused was sentenced to 6 months imprisonment and i was quite surprised to hear that...before i went out of the court i had a glance at the accused and he nodded at me...i was so thrilled that i couldnt stop smiling...when kak nurul and kak ainul asked me on the sentence..they were like.."wo..tuan mazdi bagi 6 months ja..wah bagus2..."..what happened today taught me a good lesson...being a human i never escape from being judgmental towards the accused person..but one thing that we have to bear in mind..sometimes people do wrong things because they have to..because of poverty..because of immense needs...sometimes people do wrong things for the crime we have created on the society...we are too busy to fulfill our worldly desire that we forget our responsibility to the people who are in need...i guess the biggest crime that a state can commit to its citizen is to let them be on the bread line...the rich is getting richer and the poor is getting poorer..and then we punish them for the crime that we commit on them...now i understand why one of the companions used to suspend hudud punishment during the famine period...now that i understand what law is all about...and now i understand what reality we are living in....and now i understand what do i have to do to fulfill my obligation towards God....

when i woke up today..i realized that i didnt have to go to the court today...its a little awkward because i used to go to the court every day..suddenly around 845 my master called me..he wasnt feeling well today so i have to go to the court to sort out one matter..when i was on my way to the court...i got a call from abu..and he was telling me that he'd be in alor star ct today..all the way from penang...and i was like..''yay!!!!!"i was so thrilled that i could not stop smiling...obviously im missing all my friends so bad...we met in front of the session court and talked about so many things...then we had lunch together...chatting about things that have been changing our lives...laughing over this one guy..according to abu "mat bunga" having lunch with his girlfren..and making funny funny faces, i guess he was trying to be romantic..ehehe....then abu had to go back to penang....and my life resumes to its original mode....dear friends out there..im missing u guys like crazy...jom wat gathering jom!!!!!

today i got one matter in magistrate court 2..the most sensational and the most feared court for every chambering students..and the lawyers-both the junior and senior lawyers...every single entity in that court can never escape from being bombarded by the Magistrate..ironically..i happened to appear before him most of the time...i guess by now i get so immune by that...as i was waiting for my case to be called up..it felt like being in a cinema..full of emotions and dissatisfaction by both the lawyers and the magistrate...

after the court was stood down...every one was like so relieved at least for the time being...as i was done discussing with my client to record consent judgment..tuan razali, the prosecuting officer for court 2 called me up..next to him was tuan ng..the p.o for court 3...and suddenly tuan razali told tuan ng.."look at her...tak pernah tgk dia marah...senyum aja...orang pon tak jadi marah kat dia..she's so lucky..."and i was like..."ehehehe..."and tuan ng was like.."ya ya..."i want to be like you la...may be i should wear glasses like you"..and i was like.."yes tuan ng..then you join the indie rock underground band...that'd be perfect..."..and we laughed..and when other lawyers approached them..they kept on saying the same thing to other lawyers...and all i could do was ****blush*********

im happy that people keep telling me bout that...at least i know that im able to keep my composure when i have to deal with the reality of being a legal practitioner...its never easy to deal with all the stuff....to be on my own two feet...to be independently ready most of the time...im glad that i opted to do my chambering...i realized that this is what my brother has been telling me about..being independent....being able to stand on my own two feet...for success always comes the hard way...it is a tough world i must say...things have always been hard for me to deal with emotionally..but there's one thing that i gain from having to go through the hard times...the sense of independence....and why the sense of independence means so much for me..its because of me..being a woman...(sounds feminist eh?)...hmmm....

this afternoon as i was browsing through the files which keep piling up and up...like usual ill be listening to the radio all day long to keep me conscious in doing my work..i just couldnt believe my ears when i heard this dj reading an sms sent by a girl when the topic of discussion is "what do you hate most about yourselves"--she said.."what i hate most about myself is i couldnt be faithful to one guy...i feel sorry to my boyfriends"..and i was like..."for crying out loud..is there such thing as this?????"..oops..maybe im still doing things old school...conservative...but im more than happy to live in my own-defined world..regardless what other people say...im just being real..at least to myself...

when i started chambering...the moment that i anticipate the most is weekends..i love weekends..because all that i do on weekends is nothing but doing nothing...but this last weekend really bugged me.. a lot..because ive got two hearing..that was still ok but the scariest part of it was the hearing was before the most feared magistrate in alor star...and i happened to appear before him most of the time...

when i was on my way to the court today..i could literally feel the butterflies in my stomach...for the first case it went well as i recorded consent judgment..but the second case was really creeping me out..luckily the prosecuting officer was on leave so this 'bidan terjun p.o' was asking for another date for hearing cases..and i was like "yay....no hearing..."as the magistrate gave another date to other lawyers so that kinda convinced me that he'd give another date to me..when my case was called up..he asked for stand down and i was like.."o God...im screwed today.."out of the sudden kak prema called me to see the magistrate in his chamber..and i was so freaking out..when i got into the the chamber..he was like "so fadiah..what's the deal with this case"..and all the anxiety went away..i was explaining from a to z and then my client was called up to discuss on plea bargaining...everything went well...i was so happy that this case was settled today...and i was so happy that the magistrate was giving me directions as he realized that im still reading in chambers.....when i got into the chamber he was asking where i graduated from...and suddenly i realized that this is the time when you can be proud of your alma matter and it's all depending on you how to let people see the product of the institution....

and the lesson that ive learned today.."we know not what God has written for us...sometimes we only see bad things and we see nothing but sorrow...but as we step ahead..then we'll realize that all the good things are there...we have to feel the sadness as to appreciate how happiness feels like"...