Thursday, December 29, 2011

And I'm writing again...

I find it weird that I'm actually writing on this blog I've left idle for so long.No, I didn't injure my head when I fell into the stream on my way up the hill and sprained my ankle.

God it was painful, but I didn't feel a thing when it happened.All I could remember was how hard we laughed our heads off over the incident.

Yes,I'm writing again.It has been so long, I just feel like I have to come out of the glass house I built just enough to fit myself.

Year-end never fails to make me feel this way.It's pretty hard to explain the feeling.But all I know is, life is short and therefore I choose not to ask irrelevant questions.

I just feel like sharing a quote from a friend which popped up yesterday,"if life is not screwed up, there'll be no poetry".And that should be quote of the year!

Friday, June 10, 2011

The Gap Between The Front Teeth

Over the years we tend to forget how certain things disappear from our lives,like the gap between the front teeth for example, and other things that used to drop by just to test the patience in us.

The moment we try to figure out what actually happened and all that we could arrive at is nothing but a difficulty to pinpoint at how it actually happened, that for me, is a good indication that we have totality let go of the thing that used to bother us and we have joyfully moved on.

This is when we start to realize, that petty little thing is so irrelevant that the act of trying to resurrect its precise recollection seems to be futile no matter how hard we try.

Rejoice, for at this point in time, we have lived a life, free from petty little things and petty people.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Sense of Disappearance

In life, at some point, we just have to admit that we can never fix certain things. It's best that we let them slip away. It suggests not negativity, it's a matter of being practical.

That's life. It's peculiar in its own way. Just like how happy songs can prolong one's depression to the point of no return and how depressing songs can emancipate one's soul that is long trapped in nothingness.

It's the sense of disappearance. To disappear in your own self, without having to justify anything, to anyone.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Pandy kutty

I still remember how I got to know what pandi kutty means. It happened four months ago, when I was on the way back with my friends from Tenang to Kuala Lumpur.

S: Tell akka, I’m a good protégé!

KL: Protégé? Tell protégé he is pandi kutty!

Me: What is pandi kutty?

N: You didn’t know?

Me: Not that I knew of, but I know Sri Paandi restaurant in PJ. Their pavukai puriyal is good!

KL: You never heard of it at school?

Me: Nope, never. In Kedah we never used the word pandi kutty.

KL: In KL everyone knows what pandi kutty is. Sure you never heard of it?

Me: No, what does it mean?

KL: Pandi kutty means little brother.

N: Yup, little brother.

Me: Really? So Sri Paandi is brother…Sri?

KL: Cute brother.

Me: Oooh……Hey, why are you guys smiling? Tell me the truth!

KL&N: It really is little brother!

Me: Now I doubt it, tell me what is pandi kutty!

N: It’s little pig, isn’t it cute? Pandi kutty!

Me: I knew it wasn’t little brother! Pandi kutty,how cute!

I never knew that the word pandi kutty could have such an immense impact on Malaysia political atmosphere as compared to the issue of government’s serious plan to build nuclear plants even after we have witnessed our football stadium collapse, mind you without any help from detonators!

Friday, May 06, 2011

Never Alone

The stillness is unfurling itself.Showing how beautiful freedom is and it's still worth fighting for.The tears, the hope,the winding roads will not evaporate in vain.

The fiendish chaos that terrorized the soul has subsided. The wounded soul has finally found its comfort in the pristine bonding of conviction that resides in the flesh and bones that define what it is to be human.

Blessed.To know that you are never alone.

Friday, February 18, 2011


When I thought that it was gone, when I thought that it had drowned in an infinite space, longing in silence, when I thought that all it had left me with was the eternal, beautiful stillness, that was when I told myself that I'd bury it inside me, and walk through the passage of time in remembrance of it.

That was when I thought it would never knock on my door, ever again. But the beautiful stillness has woken up from its sleep. It's back.In the same provoking silence.Indifferent in its grievance.

And I'm glad.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Egypt Revolution

photo by Idris Abdul Rashid

"Revolution is possible!", the voice in my head jubilantly greeted me on the historic 12 February morning, the moment I woke up from my temporary death. The song uprising by Muse kept on playing in my head, over and over again. It was so beautiful. The truth.

Egypt revolution started on 25 January 2011.

5 days before the historic date, the Abolish ISA Movement had its planning meeting at Shah's Village where a conversation took place between the Chairman, Syed Ibrahim and I over lunch. He was telling me about his trip to Egypt to visit his son who was studying there. He was telling me how corrupt the government of Egypt was. Bribery was so common that it was committed out in the open, with impunity.

"My son told me that there is a fatwa issued in Egypt legalizing bribery".

It's nothing unusual isn't it? That religious institutions are being used as a tool to legalize government's unlawful, immoral and corrupt act. Worse, people hold on to these tainted religious institutions so tightly that they would be ever ready to wage war against those who question its legitimacy.

Religion is no longer seen in its substance, as more often than not, most people are more concerned to defend its form.

I replied to what Syed Ibrahim said "Instead of issuing a fatwa against the corrupt government that allows corrupt practices, those contemptuous so called religious leaders issued a fatwa legalizing corruption?".What an insult to religion!

Frankly, at this point in time, driven by an immense feeling of frustration, I felt like change in Egypt or any country around the world was nearly impossible.Look at how far we have deviated from what is right. Will change ever be possible?

25 January proved me wrong. The beautiful revolution proved me wrong.

Some may have deviated from the right path, but there are still people who believe in what is right. There are still people who believe in the truth. There are still people who would die for freedom, justice and liberties. People of Egypt have shown us what faith is. People of Egypt have shown us that falsehood could never prevail. People of Egypt have shown us that truth will eventually triumph.

In the midst of jubilant celebration of the victorious struggle, Yusuf al-Qaradawi beautifully summed up this beautiful destiny as revolution "not only a revolution of the youth, but it is rather a revolution of the Egyptian people, in its entirety and in all its categories, including Muslims and Christians, the poor and the rich, who all said "No" to the tyrant".

Thursday, January 06, 2011

The Open Verdict

To the open verdict of Teoh Beng Hock's Inquest:-

You corrupt
And bring corruption to all that you touch

You'll behold
And beholden for all that you've done

Cast a spell
Cast a spell on the country you run

And risk
You will risk
You will risk all their lives and their souls

And burn
You will burn
You will burn in hell
Yeah, you'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell for your sins

Oh, our freedom's consuming itself
What we've become
Is contrary to what we want
Take a bow

You bring death
And destruction to all that you touch

You must pay
You must pay for your crimes against the earth

Feed the hex
Feed the hex on the country you love

And beg
You will beg
You will beg for their lives and their souls

Yeah, and burn
You will burn
You will burn in hell
Yeah, you'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
Yeah, you'll burn in hell
You'll burn in hell
Yeah you'll burn in hell for your sins