Of Birthday and Good Moments (edited-atas permintaan:P)

It has been a week since my birthday, but I could hardly detach myself from the good moments that I had with people who are close to me..usually on my birthday, I couldn't help feeling a little sombre because of the thoughts that one year older equals to one year shorter, as in my life span, hence these questions-what have I done all this while and do I have enough time to do things that I’ve always wanted to do.


But it is always good to get wishes from people on birthday, a prayer I would say- one good thing about the concept of birthday. It’s not so much the presents or cakes, it's the thought. The quality time spent in each other's company and the efficiently organized birthday surprise by dear friends-Far, Asni, Ati, Shuey, Raina, Zaza, Adrin, Faj, and Yati-You ladies were really good at throwing a surprise party, i was literally surprised (well, being forever budak blur as Nad put it:)), you ladies deserve a pat on the back!:)


On Friday evening, I was in PD for Human Rights training, had the opportunity to learn vast knowledge on human rights, got to spend time with one another as before this training, we only got to see one another once a month at committee meeting and all we talk about is who is gonna take up this case/project. It felt like having an educational trip with one big happy family:) and conceding to the fact that we were a bunch of loud and happy people!:)

I had to bounce on Saturday night because I got to be present at Mentari Voluntary Tuition Project Open Day cum Meet the Parents Day the next Sunday morning. Before leaving PD, I had a great time hanging out with my friends by the beach, singing and staring at the moon, leaving behind the routine back in KL.

Mentari Voluntary Tuition Project Open Day cum Meet the Parents Day-the moment that every one was looking forward to...it has been 7 months the project is running, and it still is..from 8 kids and 5 volunteers. and now the number has grown to 60 kids and 35 volunteers..i was so happy to watch the progress of each kid at Mentari Project. I still remember the first time I met these mentari kids, how shy they were, and how difficult to get them to speak. But now, as they were walking into the hall, lining up to perform the choral speaking, all I could see was their confident faces, getting all geared up to deliver..the parents were so happy and supportive..and the volunteers were overwhelmingly thrilled.

It feels good to know how close we've got to the kids, and how sincere they are to us, as they would do what we always tell them to do in class, as this was revealed by the parents during Meet the Parents Session. The parents told us that the kids were so excited to come to class and when they got home, they would be talking on and on about the experience that they had in class. Getting to know all these facts from the parents felt really good. It has always been worth it.

I would like to thank my fellow cikgu-cikgu @ volunteers for making all this possible. This project, the kids, the volunteers, the class, have always been dear to me as I couldn't get any happier every time I get to spend my time at this project. Oh, before I forget, getting to celebrate another surprise party at the open day was great! And the kids were asking “wahh..cikgu dah umur berapa??!..i just smiled!:)

Got another lepak session with uni friends on next Friday, again, to celebrate my birthday..as Huda put it “serious Fad jadi nak lepak ngn kitorang??Fad kan suka tabur janji2 palsu!!”..Huda-yup I’m serious, next Friday, KLCC—trying to prove “tiada janji2 palsu:)”

to Nad-tima kaseh belikan cake yang lazat!!!!(special shout out nih :))
to Af juge-for the cute card!

dan tidak lupa juga kepada sasha lyna @ cha-cha dan entourage nya-tima kaseh kerana datang all the way dari ampang ke ttdi utk bersama2 diriku menyambut hari jadi:P

Of Polygamy

15/07/2008 marks my first anniversary in practice...I still remember telling a friend of my intention to celebrate this day and she was like "orang keje bertahun2 tak penah pon nak celebrate, inikan baru setahun..".it's not so much that it is overwhelmingly pleasant to be in my first year of practice or rather working life, but it's more of "when do I get to do things that I've been dying to do? It has been a year, so, how much longer do I have to wait?"..questions with no certain answers...well, i guess it's better to just follow the flow..when the time is right, things will fall into place.

Last night, I had a lepak session at pelita with B, H and H. We were talking about a lot of things and all of a sudden, we started talking about polygamy..obviously it got heated up, particularly when we tried to draw the line between excuses, justification, the object of such ruling (maqasid syariah), permissibility, responsibility, justice, the very core object of family institution and love. I bet it got even more interesting when it was discussed with guy friends.

The most typical justification or I would rather say excuse given by guys to contract polygamous marriage is to avoid infidelity. As a servant of God, we are given the intellect to reason things, and be accountable to every decision that we make. In general, guys would say, it's better if I marry the woman rather than cheating on my wife. For me, it is never a valid justification. For you not to cheat on your wife is always a matter of self control. God is fair, He gives you guidance. In life, you will be faced with thousand of options, good or bad. And it is upon you to choose with wisdom or whim.

In this case, you can have four wives, but still, what stops you from having to encounter the same scenario the fifth time? You can't just divorce your wives and marry the next woman in line just to avoid infidelity? Can you? If this is the case, don't you think that you are abusing the permissibility of such ruling? Does this make you a just person? And does this absolve you from being accountable to God for being irresponsible, selfish and opportunist?

In Islam, we take the religion as a whole. When we talk about polygamy, more often than not guys will not look back in history, on how polygamous marriage was like. It is more of a social responsibility, rather than pleasure. Mind you, marriage is a contract that comes with specific obligations and responsibility. Hence these questions:

1) would you marry and maintain a woman who is a single mother with seven kids who is unable to earn a living?
2) would you marry a woman who has lost her husband to war and maintain her and her family?
3) would you marry a handicapped woman and maintain her and her family?
4)would you marry a woman who is physically deformed?

would you?

Another point that I would like to share is, guys always say that permissibility of such ruling gives them the licence to contract polygamous marriage. My question, if that is the case, are you suggesting that God is unfair and discriminatory? That only guys can at any time find a new wife because they just can't help falling in love? What about women then? Women would have to face the same old face for the rest of their lives even though at times they get confused differentiating their husbands and their daughters' teddy bears.

"If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans,marry women of your choice, two, or three or four; But if you fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one ..... That will be more suitable,to prevent you from doing injustice."
Surah Al-Nisa' 4:3 (translation by Abdullah Yusuf Ali)

"You are never able to be fair and just as between women,
Even if it is your ardent desire...".
Surah An Nisa:129

Based on the above quranic verses, B made an anology, “a student goes to his lecturer and asks him whether he can have a second exam as he didn’t do well in his first exam, and the lecturer says he can do so, but the question is trillion times harder and there’s no way he can pass the second exam”-it’s another way of saying no, when we know full well that we can never deliver even if we’re given a second chance. I couldn’t agree more.

The above verses are clear and the object of such ruling is clear, it is only applicable in extreme circumstances, on strict conditions. The object of marriage is to preserve the sanctity of family institution. If the above ruling is taken arbitrarily, we have got to bear all the blame for abusing the object of Syariah and the very wisdom of unconditional submission to God’s will.

H asks me :

“if ever one day your husband wants to marry another women because he wanted to help the woman financially, would you be ok with that?”

Me: “I respect his noble intention, but I will ask him to let me go, because I don’t think I can endure the pain, and I’m sure if I stay in the marriage any longer, it will only make things worse as I can foresee that the very ideal of family institution will be on the verge of destruction, and it is my duty not to let that happen…”

I came across this hadith today, and I would like to share this with every one,

Many forget the authentic hadith (as reported in Sunan Ibn Majah) which reported that the Prophet (s.a.w.), when asked if he would permit Saidina Ali to marry another woman, said that he would not, "....unless and until Ali Ibn Abi Talib divorces my daughter, for surely she is part of me and what troubles and agitates her, troubles and agitates me too; and what harm befalls her befalls me too."

Seriously, you gotta be kidding me!

I got to be in an inquiry proceeding this afternoon and seriously, I never thought that I’d be this close to witnessing people making fool out of themselves, standing and pointing fingers, making unnecessary or rather childish remarks, making serious allegations without supporting them with facts and having zero respect for the chairman. God, this is when I got to see professionalism literally going down the drain.

I was appalled. I felt like telling them off their faces on decorum, on second thought, why should I. they should know better, if experience or seniority is of important consideration. Mind you that they kept on chanting over and over again that they've been doing good deeds since dinosaurs’ time! But then again, I realized, to have a decent degree of self-respect and dignity, it’s neither the seniority nor the experience. It’s humility and wisdom.

Dignity consists not in possessing honors, but in the consciousness that we deserve them-Aristotle.

Of Truth

Truth, a lesson worth learning. Truth, a battle worth fighting. Truth, lies worth unveiling. With what's happening in this country of mine, seriously speaking, I'm not surprised. Come to think of it, it kinda scares me to the core of my being that, by not being surprised indicates two possibilities.

Firstly, people who just don't care and become oblivious to moral, social and political decadence. And secondly, people who would put their lives on the dice to fight for what is right backed by the ever precious gift given to all human beings without a single exception, that is conscience.

We see changes are taking place every single day.People change and so do things that are revolving around them. But what remains unchanged is only one thing, the rule of law. The soul that we barely see but we can feel the truth it brings. as long as we hold on tight to this soul, we will always be alive, even when our bodies are buried six feet under.

Seeking the truth, it has always been worth it.

“The search for truth is in one way hard and in another way easy, for it is evident that no one can master it fully or miss it wholly. But each adds a little to our knowledge of nature, and from all the facts assembled there arises a certain grandeur.”-Aristotle.