''I watched from my window,
always felt that I was outside looking in on you
you were always the mysterious one
with dark eyes and careless hair,
you were fashionably sensitive,
but too cool to care
then you stood in my doorway,
with nothing to saybesides some comment on the weather,
well in case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heartt bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees
these foolish games are tearing me apart
your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
you're breaking my heart....''

only one word could describe my feeling right now..sad..as all the good thigs are almost over..i guess i know what makes me start to feel this way..it was last nite as i had my second jurisprudence test..at the end of the class sir iqbal gave us his words of wisdom..

among the things that he said:

"when u go out of this university..be a person who has good quality and character"
"if ure in high position, dont look down on other people"
"jaga adab"
"believe in what u believe in..dont get affected by what others say about u as long as u know that ure being honest to God"

he also told us that he really enjoyed teaching our class..he said that our class was the best class he ever taught..he thanked the class for giving him a wonderful experience in his teaching career..now i feel like crying again..normally when sir iqbal was talking..the whole class would be filled with laughter..but last nite..the class got so quiet when sir iqbal was expressing his feelings....

at the end of the class we took pictures with him..he was so happy as he kept on laughing and smiling..and every one was so happy last nite..

indeed to me..he's been a great TEACHER..its hard for me to tell people how much i look up to him...all the things that he used to say have always been in me..to guide me through this life..all the things that he said have always made me want to be a better person..all the things that he said have always been a guidance to me...i know many people dont understand this..what makes me feel this way..but i once told a close fren and my roomies that "in life, it happens only once for a person who can substantially influence ur life"...i thank God for this blessing...all the things that he said were not only related to our subject in class.. its about life..and this means the world to me...its always been my hope that i can hold on to these precious things till my last breath..and i hope that thre's always someone who can remind me if ive ever changed....

too many things happened in the past few days..i know its not right for me to say that the world really frustrates me...but i admit that im just plain human..but still God knows everything as he has planned all these things in his own way...

last friday when i just woke up from bed, kak wana came to my room and told me that ellia's motorbike was stolen when she parked the bike at kulliyah..i was so shocked to death...and after some time ellia and zai came back to our room and the security guard was waiting for us to have a tour around the male mahallah to search for the bike...when we were in the patrol car..everything was revealed...basically uia holds the highest rate of theft cases involving motor vehicle and recently 5 criminals cum student have been convicted of theft involving motor vehicles and to my surprise they had been detaching the parts of the bike right under our nose!!!kat mahallah uthman..and no one knows or maybe no one cares about this i guess...

but still it doesnt end there..the day before ellia's bike got stolen thre was already a similar case at econs parking lot..what a world..these heinous criminals are theft instead of being students in this university and in fact police from bukit aman comes to uia everyday to investigate...and to my disappointment..nobody imparts this info to the residents of this university..maybe people are too busy doing things that are in their interest..humanity and justice dont matter anymore, i guess this is the reality in today's world..

ellia zai and me went to make a police report at balai polis gombak escorted by the security guard...then we have to go to ibu pejabat polis selayang to refer the matter to investigation unit..it sounded serious this time..the place was quite far..when we got there the security guard left...now i know what a real police station is like...we were waiting outside the investigating officer's office..suddenly thre were two chinese guys, handcuffed sat next to us..a bit scary..zai was holding my hands...then all the high rank officers came to us and asked a few questions..they wre nice to us...despite the first impression i got on them..one of the officers aked me"bila dah grad nak keja kat mane?' i replied"ag kot".."hmm nanti jumpa kitoranglah ek..bila dah jadi dpp ke magistrate ke, belajar elok2'...after 3 hours everything was settled...we waited for the security guard to pick us up...

every one was disappointed with what had happened..the room which usually filled with laughter has turned into a dull mode...all that we can do is pray to God...things always happen for a reason..and we have to strongly believe in that..

but yesterday spoke for itself..ellia got a phone call from the security..they got the culprit's pic riding the bike..as if its his..caught on cctv..at 5 ellia zai nadia and me walked all the way to see the pic...alhamdulillah the matter has been referred to the police and all that we can do is wait..its right when we say that God knows everything..He Knows the truth..and He is always there to protect us...

and i personally believe that truth will reveal itself no matter how hard things can be...some people they just cannot see u have what they dont have..some people they just like to talk about other people without knowing the truth..some people they just like to gossip around or i think the word fitnah is more apprropriate..and thre's nothing mush i would say about this kind of people...the Day of Judgment will tell us the truth....^peace out^^

this morning my entire batch who'll be graduating this sem had to wake up early for photography session at the majestic big stairs in the heart of uia...everyone was so excited..its not that we were happpy of leaving this place, but it was the feeling of being surrounded by good frens who have been with u throughout the years...

we waited for quite some time to get every one ready..we finished at 830 and i had to rush back to kulliyyah coz i got building contract test...while waiting there we took lotsa pics-hugging each other...laughing..what a memory...this same feeling always haunts me when i got back to my room..and as usual ill make my usual remark to adik2 bilik and kak wana.."sedihla korang..kite dah nak berpisah'..every one will keep quiet and start to hug one and another..hmm..i have to admit that its really hard for me to imagine the day we have to say good bye..and now i feel like crying...

and i have to admit that once i used to have the feeling of running away from this place..but i guess i was wrong..too many good things God has given to me while im here..up until now...and sometimes i almost forget the things that used to make me cry...its true when people say..when u feel so sad about sometihng..thre'll be a day that ull realize that ure always blessed with love..to much love around you that it makes it hard for u to let it go...i met many people i know today..i stopped and talked to them...we laughed and smiled...and its kinda strange as people can notice you being in such a lovely and happy mood...i met pang and he said something to me'fadiah, u look different lately' i asked him back..'hmm...what do u mean.. i look different?..'he said 'u look happier..ur smile makes people who see u smile too"..hmm.. radzlan told me the same thing yesterday..quite funny though..haha..but i have to admit that its good to make people around u happy...coz they make me happy too...

actually i was about to write about a few things sir iqbal and me had dicussed about..but i guess ill write about those thigs next time coz i need more revelation to pour them into words...^peace out^^

ive watched iwan fals collaborating with kantata takwa- live concert..indeed it is a deviation from the mainstream...and indeed our people have not yet witnessed this kind of sentiment,to be appreciated..and indeed im grateful to be able to be expossed in this norm, not familiar to our typical mainstream...the song 'kesaksian' really captivates me..and 'marsinah' is just plain awesome...i took quite some time to digest what this song is all about..sir iqbal told me that this is his favorite song and asked me to ponder what it is all about and tell him what i understand about the song...i guess ive got the answer...

like what iwan fals said'perjuanga adalah pelaksanaan kata-kata'-and to achieve this..the first thing that we have to do is open our heart..to accept and to give the truth a thought..even for a single second...